


Altale

by LuLuIceifer



Series: Underlying [3]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: (Tags added as story goes on), 10 years prior to the events of Fates, AU where Hoshido has defeated and Nohr has won, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Child!Leo, Child!Takumi, Dark, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Hate Speech, M/M, Prequel, Racism, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 37,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22676782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuLuIceifer/pseuds/LuLuIceifer
Summary: The burning castle, the unending requiem. People screamed, as their bodies laid dead. I tried reaching out, seeking for help, yet none hold my hands - Mother has fallen, and Sakura is nowhere to be seen. The laughs echo, as the dusk engulfs the dawn, as the darkness overpowers the light. As the once peaceful kingdom has burned into ashes.I hope it’s all just a tale.
Relationships: Leon | Leo & Takumi, Leon | Leo/Takumi
Series: Underlying [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1330007
Comments: 16
Kudos: 12





	1. Return

**Author's Note:**

> It's my third time repeating this:
> 
> 1\. Takumi and Leo are 8. Kamui is 9. Elise is 3, Sakura is 4. Camilla is 13, Hinoka is 12. Ryoma and Xander are 18.
> 
> 2\. MALE Corrin (=Kamui), so Takumi is the THIRD prince of Hoshido.
> 
> 3\. Kamui and Azura were never captured. Takumi was captured and was Leo's slave (Part 1).
> 
> I try to summarise Part 1 & 2 in the first chapter, in case you don't want to read 60k words. But I do have quite a number of references to Part 1 & 2, so feel free to check it out :)
> 
> Thanks Lightning for proof reading!

It's finally the start of the new year.

Leo pours hot milk into the cup. Taking a deep breath, he sighs. His family is probably celebrating the new year in the ballroom, leaving him and his retainer here. He won’t complain, nevertheless - Parties are never his thing. Plus, he is already exhausted from that chaotic year.

The death of his Mother, followed by the capture of the Hoshidan Prince. They were on the verge of being destroyed by Hoshidans, only to be saved by that pathetic Hoshidan Queen, choosing to save that mere child over the country. When the autumn winds blew, he thought his life would be back to normal. Yet, it has never been peaceful - Nohr had been preparing their revenge ever since Takumi was captured. ‘Returning’ the Hoshidan Prince back is just one of the procedures of King Garon’s conquest. Hoshido, on the other hand, has been fighting itself - The people revolt, the Queen laid dead, and the High Prince crowned himself. When the Hoshidan realised their attack, they were already too late - Nothing can be done against the bloodshed. Nothing can be done to stop the requiem.

Nohr has won. Hoshido has been defeated.

He scopes a spoon of hot chocolate power into the milk. Dipping the spoon into the hot milk, he swirls and brings it beside his bed. Softly placing the cup on the table, he gazes at the Hoshidan Prince.

“Are you feeling better?”

Narrowing his eyes, he clenches his hand. He had been trying so hard to save this boy in front of him. Trying so hard to go over all the obstacles he made himself. On that snowy night, he reached his hand out. Leaning his body forward, using every last drop of his energy just to find Takumi. He did, eventually. But when he finally touched those silvery hair, his body had already fallen from exhaustion. The next time he opened his eyes, Niles was standing in front of him. Crossing his hands, laughing how pathetic he was. Xander’s army arrived soon, bringing him and Takumi back to the Nohrian army. His freezing hands brushed Brynhildr’s cover. Wearing back his Princely demeanour, he asked his brother to join the fight, only to realise that it was already over. 

The next time he tilted up his head, King Garon was in front of him. He wanted to kneel down - he needed to kneel down, yet his body is shivering so much that he couldn’t. The King glanced at Takumi, who was hiding at the corner, then moved his focus back to him. It was first a forced laugh, followed by a smirk. Looking down upon Leo, he said,

‘Not bad for a devil who saved and destroyed him.’

Takumi’s mutter pulls him back to reality. “Much better.” He could barely hear the mumbles from Takumi’s fragile, dry lips. Unlike what he looked like a few months ago, Takumi is pale. This body has been shivering ever since the moment he met him. His eyes have been flickering and avoiding his gaze. Maybe that was it was the fear of going into an enemy territory, an unknown world. Maybe that is because of the cold he had been suffering. Even then, rarely did Takumi refuse to speak - It is as if something is locked in his heart. 

Lifting the cup with both hands, Leo passes the hot chocolate to him. “Be careful. It’s hot.” He supports the cup, as those Takumi’s delicate fingers touch the mug. They then curl at the edge, trying so hard to grip it tight. Once they get the hang of it, Takumi drags the cup towards him. Placing the edge on his lips, he takes a slip before putting it down.

Looking Takumi like this just hurts him.

“Too hot?” Takumi shakes his head. “You don’t like it?” The boy turns his head away. Leo tried to grab his pale hands, but they were pulled back before he could even reach them. Leo could only let out a sigh - How many times has this weird situation occurred over the past few days? It has already turned from odd, to more or less a standard response he get from Takumi. Every time, he could just sit there and wait until Takumi needed any more help. Every time, he could just gazes at the boy, trying so hard to reach that final step. Yes, he had saved him, physically. But to save that boy mentally, he still has a long way to go.

“What happened, Takumi?”

Was he just complaining, or did he want to pretend that he is innocent? He has every right to be hated by this person - He was the one who created this tragedy. He was the one who planned to destroy his homeland. Yet, he still wants to be a ‘hero’ in his heart. He still wants to be the ‘good guy’ in the person he longs to protect. Asking like this at least makes him seem like he is caring for him, even though he knows the exact answer that will come out of his mouth. Even though he had been spying on him for the last two month, and nothing would get unnoticed in the eyes of Leo.

“You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Takumi pulls his legs back. Curling himself, he pushes his head in between his knees. He takes a deep breath, but ends up with a sigh. Shaking his head, he breathes in, trying to overcome the fear pulling him now. Instead, he could only thrust his head deeper, hiding himself away from that caring sight of Leo. 

“Mother…” Those words slip out of his lips before realising it. “I thought everything would return back to normal when I arrived home. I thought everything would remained the same when I stepped back to Hoshido.” He pants out. Those soft sighs soon become gasp. His hands clenched tight, with his nails digging into his skin. “Kamui told me that everything will be okay. Hinoka told me that. Even  _ Ryoma  _ told me that it will be…!”

He sobs, yet it is followed by a harsh bite on his lips. Leo smoothes his back. Wrapping his hands around his shoulder, pulling him into his hug. Is this how to comfort people? Is this how he should react upon the news? He doesn’t know - He had already seen all the tragedy through the crystal ball. Through his own eyes. Narrating the truth shouldn’t affect him - At least, until now. His heart arches. His tears rolled off his cheek - He had never felt this way before, not when his mother died. Is this sympathy? Is this guilt? Maybe a mix of both. Maybe it is just a swirl of all the underlying emotions he had been hiding.

“They all lied.” Such a calm statement that Leo didn’t expect. “The castle is burning. The darkness is engulfing.” As much as Takumi wanted to keep calm, his sobs are betraying him. “Ryoma killed Mother, Hinoka and Kamui betrayed us.” Blood is dripping at the edge of his lips. “Sakura brought me away, and I…!”

The blood falls onto the bed sheet, painting it red.

“I have nowhere to go. Nowhere to return.” His hands slide along the edge of his legs. His face leans on his knees before his body collapses into Leo’s chest. “Mother is dead. Sakura is suffering from Ryoma’s rule. All the Hoshidans hated me.” He cries between his sobs. “There is nowhere I can call home.”

Leo could only let out a sigh. 

Pulling the Hoshidan Prince closer, he caresses his hair. “Didn’t you find me in the end?” He drags Takumi closer and mutters. “Didn’t you choose to survive, even if the whole world is breaking down?” 

When those flickering amber eyes gaze at him, he smiles, reassuring him that he has every right to survive. Reminding himself that he had done the right thing all along. His free hands take Takumi’s freezing ones, gripping it tight so that his warmth can be transferred. “We have both lost our mother, but aren’t we still surviving right here, right now? We will find a way out, like how you found me in the snow. We will create another miracle together - Another story between us two.”

Takumi squints, before his tears filled up his eyes. His hands wrap around Leo’s shoulder, and his head nudges into his chest. Crying out all the problems he had. Screaming out all the suffering he has endured. Confessing out all the underlying feelings that have buried deep inside his heart.

-

“You sure you want to tell him this?”

Crossing his hands, Niles smirks. Hours have passed since Takumi complained about all his problems. His body has fallen from exhaustion, and he is sleeping in Leo’s bed. Leo, on the other hand, watches the boy - There is nothing called ‘safe’ in Nohr. Now that he has gotten Takumi back, he has the mission to protect him from everyone else.

“What do you mean by that, Niles?” The Nohrian Prince squints. “Let’s get this straight - I am tired of guessing your meaning behind each sentence.”

“Hm. That poor kid’s younger sister has died.” 

“Sakura? I didn’t…!”

“It happened after Takumi returned. Of course you won’t spy that from the Prince’s view.” Pushing himself off the wall, Niles walks casually towards Leo. “Her funeral will be held two weeks from now, 15th January.” He stands in front of Leo. Looking down, he said. “It is just so much time before the pathetic Prince will realise how much wrong he had done.”

“No way! The last time I checked, she was still…”

Niles gives a forced laugh. Kneeling down in front of the Nohrian Prince, he whispers,

“Not bad for a devil who saved and destroyed him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am actually surprised that no one scolded me for putting Sakura's age in the chapter notes :)


	2. Tiny Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth is always too heavy to bear.
> 
> No matter if it is the truth that Queen Mikoto gave up on saving Takumi, or the fact that I have always been pulling the strings, they are all too horrible to be true. Too tragic for that innocent child to witness. In this bloody world, such facts should never enter the ears of that kid. They should never be listened by the pure and innocent. They don’t deserve it - These tragedies should only be sighted by the ones who are responsible for it.
> 
> I tried to hide them. I need to hide them. But the more I do, the more it backfires. I would never forget those struggles - How much Takumi tried to escape from my grip when I killed that Hoshidan ninja. How he blamed me when he realised I have always been using him. I know, this time, I shall face the truth. I shall confess what happened to him. Yet, when I meet those amber eyes, my lips shiver, my eyes soften - They don’t deserve it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being late. This chapter ended up way longer than I thought. (That's it, not because of my essay).
> 
> Thanks Erika and Lightning for proof reading for me!

Leo has no idea what to tell Takumi when he wakes up. Yawning, the kid rubs his eyes. He tilts his head, and gazes at Leo in confusion. For once, those eyes shine - He has a clear goal of what he needs to do. He finally has the courage to push himself up and faces the ‘reality’ in front of him. Waving his hand in front of the Nohrian Prince, he asks. “Leo?”

“Oh, Takumi.” The Nohrian chuckles and force a smile. “Are you feeling better now?”

“Much better, as if I’ve just put a rock down on my shoulders.” The Hoshidan replies with a warm smile. “My muscles still feel weak…” He tests by curling his fingers and trying to clench into a fist. “But it would take time to heal, isn’t it?”

Such an innocent smile. So innocent that Leo doesn’t know how to reply. He had longed to see this - This is the sole reason why he saved him in the first place. Selfish? Maybe, but that smile cured his heart. Now, however, this smile haunts him. The more he sees it, the more he feels the burden on his shoulders. He should have foreseen this when he decided to betray Takumi. He should have expected that when they declared an attack on Hoshido. Heck, he was even mentally prepared for Takumi’s death. So why does that Hoshidan girl’s death affect him that much? Didn’t her death mean all Takumi’s love and care can be allocated to him? So why, does his pathetic heart ache when he knows the truth?

He forces his lips to tilt up. “Time would heal everything.” He squints and turns away. Pushing himself up, he takes the empty cup. “I’ll get some water first.” He steps forward, only to be stopped by the tug on his shirt.

“You sounded like Kamui.”

Eyes widened, the Nohrian Prince stops. “Is it?” He wanted to raise his voice and sound cheerful, but ended up as a depressing sigh. No matter how much he tries, he is haunted by Sakura’s death. He knows he needs to tell Takumi - That is the lesson he learned last time. The longer he hides, the more the string tangles. And when the truth is finally revealed, it will end up hurting Takumi more. Takumi is no kid - He had persuaded himself so many times. He is strong enough to face the truth, strong enough to stand alone in this senseless world. He doesn’t need his protection - It was his own selfishness that drives it, but not his need. His own desire, but not Takumi’s.

That is the truth - He needs to face it. He needs to convince himself, again and again. Yet when he glances at Takumi, that bruised body just made him want to protect him. He was the one who caused the tragedy, so he has the responsibility to shield him away from the danger. He was the one who insisted on giving him a better life, so he should seal all the nightmares away and only show him the brighter side of things.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“That’s fine.” The grip on his cloth loses. Dropping his hand, the Hoshidan Prince looks down. “I mean… I know why he said this but… Just…” His eyes fix on those pale hands. Shivering, he whimpers out. “It hurts… When I realised that he had been planning to kill Mother. When he had betrayed me. When…” 

By the time Leo regains his senses, he is already embracing Takumi. “It’s fine to stumble back.” He mutters as he smooths his back. Eyes widened, he bites his lips - He has already dropped too deeply in this rabbit hole. Nothing will pull himself out - He is destined to be buried in this pit. He wanted to continue blaming himself, but nudging his shoulder stops him. The room echoed with hiccups, then sobs. His clothes soon soaked in tears, even though the dried streaks was still on Takumi’s face.

Caressing silvery hair, Leo lowers his head - He can’t tell Takumi the truth. Not when Takumi is still stumbling forward with those tiny steps. Not when he isn’t able to balance himself with the tiny steps he takes.

Not now, he thinks. Yet there isn’t a lot of time to start with.

-

Days passed, but Leo has yet to have the courage to tell Takumi the truth. Every second means one more knot on the string between them: He is very aware of that. If he can get hold of his logical mind, confessing out shouldn’t be any problem. But somehow, Takumi manages to get his emotional side out whenever he faces him - That was how Takumi taught him to be, after all.

Three steps forward, four steps back. That is the best phrase he could use to describe his current situation.

“I’ve brought you the sewing tools.” Leo places the needles and strings on the table. Takumi have been recovering a lot these few days. Not so long ago, his skin was still as pale as snow, with bruises all over his body. Leo can’t say that Takumi is now in his best condition,but it is a far cry from the half-dead boy. He had been trying new things every day - From reading new Nohrian books to now, sewing. If this continues, he would be able to restore the sword lessons he had with him. Even though he is not sure if Takumi wants to continue, especially after experiencing the horror of war.

“Thanks.” The Hoshidan pushes himself up and takes a needle. Closing one of his eyes, he tries to pass the string through the loop. But his lack of sewing experience isn’t making things better. A few tries and the string is already bent. Even if he manages to get through the hole, those delicate fingers fail to tie a decent knot.

The Nohrian Prince sighs and helps the kid. “Here.” He hands his tied needle and string over to Takumi. “You could always ask for help, just that you know.”

“Not like I’m incapable of doing so.” Takumi pouts. He tries forcing the string through the loop one last time, but ends up stinging his fingers with the needle. Embarrassed, he receives Leo’s sample. 

“Fine. Thank you.”

The Nohrian Prince giggles. Takumi has finally returned to that kid he first met. It has been a while since he last saw him being a cute little innocent child. To some extent, his goal has succeeded - He has redeemed himself from the tragedy. Even if he didn’t, he had got what he wanted from the chaos. He has protected what he loves in this world.

That is all it matters.

“What is so special about this blanket, Takumi?” Leo leans forward, watching Takumi stuffing cotton into a torn blanket. “I remembered you holding this in the snow. You know, when I found you in the forest.”

“Oh…” His eyes narrow. “That… Sakura gave me this when I ran away. That was her blessing, and the only thing I have for me to remember her.” He caresses the silk smooth cotton on it. “There have been some incidents after I left her, that’s why it ended up being torn and dirty.”

Sakura. The name that Leo doesn’t want to hear. It just stir up all the guilt he tries to force to the back of his mind. Shall he tell him, or shall he not? He has been in this endless struggle for days, Niles was correct - The more Takumi heals, the more he wants to protect that smile, the harder for him to say that out. When the truth is revealed, all his efforts would have gotten in vain. More importantly, he cannot lie to himself that he had done the right thing.

It’s just a matter of time before everything breaks down again, so why not enjoy that limited time he had to see him smile.

“Speaking of which, Leo.” Takumi raises his voice back to normal. With those glittering amber eyes gazing at Leo, he asks. “Would it be possible to send a letter to Sakura? Like… Any way that can go pass Ryoma and reach her hands? I really want to tell her that I’m safe.”

“I don’t know.” The Nohrian responds before biting his lips. Even if they are able to send the letter, there will be no reply - The dead cannot write back. Maybe he could pretend to be ‘Sakura’, since he had seen her hand writing during his spy. He even knows how she speaks, so it shouldn’t be a hard task, right? He has all the information he needs on his side, so creating such a lie shouldn’t be hard.

So that he could protect that smile for a few days more.

“I have a method in mind, but I’m not sure if it works.” Takumi’s tense expression finally relaxes, as if the burden on his shoulders has finally been put down. “We could...”

“You won’t get any reply.”

Crossing his hands, Niles snaps. Steadily, he steps out of the darker corner of the room. “Princess Sakura is dead.” He glares at the Hoshidan Prince, as he stomps in front of the kids. Taking another deep breath, he speaks.

“Your dear sister is dead.”

“Niles!” The young master tries to pull his retainer back. Yet, it was as powerless as it could be - His tiny eight-year old hand isn’t moving him an inch. He could have stabbed him, but that would just earn some pitying smirk from the outlaw. He tried tugging the outlaw away one last time, but it didn’t even move Niles an inch. Panting, he shifts his gaze from the outlaw back to his friend - If there is something he can help, it would be about Takumi.

“You’re lying.” That was the first sentence that came out of Takumi’s mouth. He shakes his head, denying whatever horrified reality he just heard. ‘It’s a lie’, he repeats, first from a mutter, but raises his voice when he sees Leo struggle. He glances at Leo - His eyes are full of distrust and despair. Those trembling lips force a wicked smile. “Tell me that Niles is lying, Leo.” The Hoshidan pants out. “Tell me that Sakura is alive!”

Eyes widened, Leo’s pupil constricts. His shivering lips part, yet it didn’t take long before they snap them shut. He looks back at Takumi - Confused, shocked, but most importantly, angry. Angry for what he had done. Angry for how powerless he is. Leo glances at Niles, who is satisfied by their reaction. It is as if he had been planning these all out. Should he be able to reverse time, he would have locked Niles in the deepest dungeon. But it’s how it goes - Once the truth starts revealing itself, all the underlying facts will start to uncover itself. He could only go along the flow, giving a slight push at places he hoped he could change.

Leo could only return a sad smile to Takumi.

His amber eyes widen. Shocked, for a moment, before he squints and look down. “No way…” Staring down at his hands, he mumbles out. “She promised that we will meet again.” His breaths are cut short, as tears filled his eyes. “She…” He wanted to speak out, yet his sentence is filled with weeps and sobs. His legs become powerless, as he falls onto the ground. His hand clenches, yet relaxes when he realises he has no one to blame. It’s his fault. It’s because of him that Sakura died. He knew that - He knew that would happen when he left her in the snow. But his heart cannot bear it - His mind is already filled with meshes when he heard about Takumi’s death. Logic just doesn’t allow him to be the killer, as his pathetic heart protects him from falling apart.

“It’s Ryoma, right?” Takumi speaks up. The sadness in those eyes are devoured by anger and hatred. His pants become heavier and heavier, as his trembling hand hold the needles. “Ryoma killed Sakura, didn’t he?” He groans, as he presses the tip of the needle against his finger. It must have hurt him - Fresh blood drips out from the wound. But it didn’t stop there - He continues thrusting it, damaging himself until his blood and skin swirls together. “Just like that red coronation. Just like how he killed Mother! He would slaughter all the opposing voice. He would do anything just to get his crown. That’s why he killed Sakura, that’s why he…”

“You killed her.”

“Ryoma did!”

The outlaw slaps Takumi on his face. Shocked, the Hoshidan gazes up at the outlaw. “She died because of how depressed she was when you left her.” He shakes his head, as his pupil constricts into a line. Horrified, he loses the grip on the needle, and his free hands tries pushing himself away from the outlaw. Yet, those retaliation were futile, especially Niles is fed up with the childishness going on.

“I’m done with your innocent killing, Hoshidan Prince.” Unlike the teasing tone he always has, Niles’ voice is deep and steady. Narrowing his eyes, he roars. “I could still keep an eye closed if you just killed a few. But look at what you have done! You sacrificed five thousand people, five thousand lives solely to save you in the first place. And now, your country has fallen into chaos  _ because of you _ ! Those people have nothing to do with all the nonsense you have done - See how much better the Hoshidans’ live is if you didn’t exist! If you still decide to turn a blind eye against all of these, then let me tell you - You are the cause of both your Mother’s and sister’s death!”

The outlaw loses his grip when he realizes he had been screaming at the kids. Sighing, he turns around. “You’re not much better.” He whispers when he walks past Leo. “You’re at my mercy solely because I won’t shame you in front of him.”

The Nohrian Prince gasps. As much as he wants to punch Niles in the face, he doesn’t have the time to do so - Takumi is his priority. He runs beside his friend. With those worried hazel eyes, he reaches out, only to be slapped away by the Hoshidan.

“No!” It is a high squeak, an empty scream. Traumatized, he pushes himself away. His arms wrap around himself, as his legs step back until he reaches the wall. “I didn’t cause this! It was all the world’s fault!” He yells at the ceiling, with tears rolling off his cheek. “Nothing would have happened if I… If I…”

He falls onto the ground, as the tears drop onto the floor. “I didn’t… I didn’t…” He mumbles, as his arms drop powerless. “It is… It is not real… all a tale, right?”

The Nohrian Prince could only narrow his eyes, sighting all this chaos unfolding in front of him. He can no longer persuade himself that what he did was wrong. He can no longer convince himself the entire tragedy is ‘made because of Takumi’. When he reaches his arms towards him, the Hoshidan Prince jerks away. Running and escaping from his grip yet again - Like that time when he killed the Hoshidan ninja. He can no longer reach him - He has locked himself away from him. Away from the reality he has been living in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my defence, Niles is more annoyed than angry here. He had seen people suffering from the streets (and himself too), while these childish Royals are treating lives as if it were their plaything (Look at how Takumi just 'kill' those five thousands soldiers saving him in part 1). Niles is fed up with all those shit, as well as Leo's selfishness and how much he didn't want to face the reality.
> 
> Plus, Leo can't do anything about it, regardless.


	3. Altale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the late update. This chapter is long (as well as the essay I just finished).
> 
> Thanks Lightning and Erika for proof reading it.

Leo has been waiting for Takumi for a whole day, if not longer. The Hoshidan has shut himself in the room ever since the realisation. Leo wanted to bring some food, only to notice that the door was still locked. He knocked on the door, but all he received were sobs and screams. Sighing, he placed the tray on the ground. He then grabbed a book from his desk, and leaned upon the door. 

“Tell me if you want something.” He said and flipped his book. Taking a deep breath, he tried to forget everything that happened that day. When he exhaled, he forced his full attention to the book. Yet, he could wipe none of the memory away - They were stuck in his head. Niles words’, as ironic as they might sound, were  _ right _ . He was no better - Slaughtering thousands, if not millions just to keep that child safe. Takumi, on the other hand, did not deserve any blame - He ended up like this solely because of  _ him _ . If he hadn’t manipulated the Hoshidan Prince, none of this would have happened.

_ None of this tragedy would have happened. _

He closed his book and stared at the ceiling. The sun rose, as the light blinded his eyes. Some time later, Niles returned, only to be dismissed before he could speak a word. He continued gazing up at the roof, continued trying to start a conversation. Time passed, as the sun had moved to the other side of the land. It set, as darkness claimed the land again. The sky is filled with stars - It is just his imagination, or did some start fading away? 

He leaned back on the door, listening to his friend muttering in Hoshidan. As much as he wanted to keep himself awake, his eyes were flickering. He hasn’t been to bed for at least 24 hours by now, and he doesn’t want to waste any second dozing off. Who knows what will happen during his sleep, especially when Takumi is in such a vulnerable position? Niles is not here, so he is the only guard. If he was down, Takumi would be in danger, and all his effort will go in vain.

Pushing himself up, he grabs a cup of water and gulps it down his throat. “Are you okay, Takumi?” He whispers, returning to his original position. “You know, I always have an ear for you. You can mutter out through this door, and I will always listen to you.”

Silence, followed by sobs - The typical response he got. Sighing, Leo looks down onto his pale fingers. He wanted to flip the book, but staring at those printed words makes him dizzy. He tried looking up at the ceiling, but the world is spinning around. He digs his nails into his skin, but it didn’t take long before the pain started to fade. Desperately, he shakes his head. Yet, this doesn’t stop him from falling asleep.

When he opens his eyes again, the moon has already risen. What is the time now? He groans, as those heavy eyelids flutter his eyes shut. He checks on the door, but as usual Takumi still doesn't answer his words. Thinking that nothing could go wrong, he decides to nap a little bit. He nuzzles his legs into his chest, and dozes off yet again. When he finally regains his senses, the midnight bell strikes - Nice, a short nap has now turned into a full three hours sleep.

Rubbing his eyes, he forces himself awake. “Are you hungry, Takumi?” He knocked on the door, but there was no reply. “Takumi?” His voice became more dire, as the knocks got harder and harder. “Reply to me if you are there, Takumi!”

Nothing - Not even a sob could he hear. 

With one hand holding the dagger, Leo places his free hand on the knob. “I’m sorry.” He whispers before turning the door knob. Taking a deep breath, he grips his dagger tight - The enemy might just be hiding behind that door. He first gives a slight push and peeks through the edge. Only when he is sure no one is in the room, he flings the door open.

“Takumi!” He screams, yet all he hears are his own echoing voice. He scans through the room. Even though there are a few blood stains here and there, there is no signs of fighting - Takumi must have gotten out on his own. How did he managed to pass through that door without waking him up? As much as he would like to blame himself, that is a question for another day. Sheathing his blade, he walks to the other end of the room. The blood drops are getting closer and closer by, so close together that it starts forming a trail. Following the path of red, it leads Leo to the needle - The needle that Takumi hurted himself yesterday. Next to it, there lies a letter, a  _ blood _ letter. Gulping down his saliva, Leo carefully picks it up. It reads:

_ Thanks for taking care of me. _

_ You are the only part of this tale that seems real. _

_ Takumi _

He gasps, as his hands shiver. His fingers slowly lose the grip on the paper, as tears rolls down his cheek. He steps back, before falling onto his knees and starts sobbing. “There’s got to be a way.” He tries convincing himself, and forces his lips to tilt up. He rubs his tears away, as his weak hands pick up the paper. “You see, Leo. The blood hasn't dried yet. He must not be gone for long. He won’t be dead yet… right?”

_ My effort would not be in vain, right? You promised me that we will live through this together, didn’t you? _

_ Didn’t you tell me that you want to live till the day that you see Sakura? Didn’t you promise that we will reach till the end? _

_ We will both see the ending of this requiem, right? Takumi? _

_ Takumi? _

His powerless legs push him up. With the blood letter in his hand, he staggers out. To where, he doesn’t know, like every other time. His inner self will guide him to where he should be, like how he found Takumi when facing that ninja. Like how he found him in that blizzard. With fears filled his eyes, he stumbles across the Nohrian corridors - The guards must be laughing at him. His weakness will be a joke to the Nohrians tomorrow. Xander will come and find him. Father might even dismiss him due to showing such patheticness. But is that a problem? What is the meaning of living in this world if Takumi is away? What is the meaning of staying when the thing he wanted the most is gone? He will be suffering in the darkness regardless, so why not end this pain once and for all? Why not drop in the darkness as well, so he could join Takumi into the journey of death?

All he could do is wander around meaninglessly. All he could do is run around in circles, but not actually reaching out to Takumi. Why does he even need to walk, when this is not taking him anywhere? Why does he need to know the feeling of kindness, when those emotions are destined to hurt him back? Why did he care Takumi in the first place, when he knows he is going to be killed? Why did he allow himself to fall into his pithole, when he knows he can’t climb back up.

Stumbling around, he could only curse his own foolishness. He wants to feel guilty, so that he knows how much wrong he has done. He wants to regret, so that he can let Takumi go. So that he could allow him to go to the fate he should really be walking in. But as much as he wants to feel that way, he can’t - He cannot defy those days as ‘wrong’. He cannot make himself regret giving that teddy bear to Takumi in the start. Those are the days he had the most happiness, the days he enjoyed living in this world the most. He can’t rub out all those memories, or else he would be defying his own existence. 

Then so be it - Let him fall alongside those precious memories he treasures. Let him be buried by the love he has for his Hoshidan friend.

Those wandering steps speed up. First a jog, and soon turns into a run. His inner self is piloting his body - To where he wants to be, to where Takumi wants to end himself. Panting, his feet brings him to the rooftop. Such a suitable place to end himself - This was where he first casted Brynhildr, the place he started it all. Now, let him bury with all those princely honour and his emotional weakness - Let them all be a tale.

He raises his head up - It is such a beautiful night. Stars twinkle, accompanied by the lonely blue moon - Is Takumi in one of them now? He rises his head, trying to reach one out. But when he follows the path of his hand, he sees a young figure in the distance. He stands at the castle ledge, on top of everything, and just beside the pit of darkness. His long platinum hair reflects the pale moonlight, as those distrusted eyes shines out distrust and despair. 

“Takumi?” He shouts out of surprise. Is he imagining, or is Takumi actually standing here and now,  _ alive _ ? Did he actually make it in time to stop this tragedy from happening. “Are you… Takumi?” He asks again, as his stumbles towards the Hoshidan Prince. His hands reaches out, trying so hard to grab the shadow of his beloved friend. Trying so hard to reach the warmth he thought he had just lost.

The silvery haired boy turns around. “Leo.” It was a calm statement hinted with slight astonishment. Those amber eyes narrow, returning Leo a miserable look. Stepping on the castle wall, his hair floats in the cold Nohrian wind. His shocked face then turned into a smile, a slightly sad smile if Leo would describe. “Isn’t that a beautiful night?”

Not a response Leo expected. Not the question Leo wants to answer, too. Shocked, his eyes widened. “Is that why you wrote that?” Ignoring his question, Leo mumbles out. He grips the blood letter harder, as it starts crumbling upon his force. Biting his lips, he whispers. “Will you come back after observing the night sky?”

“...”

“Takumi?”

“...”

“You’re coming back, right?”

His expression twists when Takumi refuses to give him a response. He looks up, until his hazel eyes meet Takumi’s amber eyes. Until his hazel eyes beg Takumi for a respon “Right, Takumi? You will come back with me, won’t you?”

Silence - More like Takumi refuses to answer. Amber eyes escape from the stare, as he digs his nails into his skin. Biting his lips, he steps back until he reaches the ledge. Until he is so close to the edge that as if any movement from Leo will push him down.

“There is nothing left in this dream that is worth living.” 

Those amber eyes flicker close. Turning away, he faces the endless darkness. “Sakura is dead, Mother is dead - Just like one of those nightmares. There is nothing left in this requiem. Nothing left in this tale.”

“But Takumi, I…”

Takumi glances back - Those lifeless eyes interrupts Leo’s thought. “But then, Leo,” He gives a wicked smile. “These are all just a dream. A nightmare that I can wake up from. When I open my eyes again, everything is going to return back to normal. Kamui and Sakura will greet me back with smiles, Ryoma and Hinoka will be teasing me, Mother will listen to my dreams and tell them it is all fake. It will return back to those good old days, those good old realities I have been living in.”

The wind blows his hair up, covering the tears at the ledge of his eyes. “These all chaos is just a tale, Leo. The burning castle, the requiem - They are just parts of the story. These all are just a dream - A tale written in books” His lips tilts up, turning that already wicked smile into a more eerie one. He gazes down on Leo, as if he is pitying him. 

“When this tale ends, Leo, we will be braced by the heartwarming reality again. There is no need to fear - Everything will return to those old good days once I wake up. The reality will embrace me - The world where Mother and Sakura live, the world where the siblings could reunite and live in peace. I know, Leo, they will be waiting for me.”

Leo could only look at his friend in horror. He has been searching for Takumi for so long. He had sacrificed everything just to make sure he lives. A few minutes ago, he had even thought that he was dead. The moment when he found Takumi alive overjoyed him - He thought he could stay with him a bit longer. But a bit is a bit - Is that the price he needs to pay for his sins? Is this what he deserves for pulling this child into war? To see that child kill himself - To commit suicide right in front of  _ him _ , that must be the biggest price he could ever pay.

He could only relax his grip. ‘Goodbye, Takumi.’ He should have said, but he is too weak to do so. His tears have already covered his eyes, his heart has already given up on persuading him. There is nothing he can do - All he can is to stare up at Takumi, looking at him committing suicide right in front of his eyes.

The Hoshidan looks up one last time. The glittering stars, looking down on him, sighting the parting between him and this realm of chaos. The blue moon, shining down on his pale face, reflecting the remnant tears on the edge of his eyes. 

“Goodbye, Leo. Thanks for giving some meaning for me in this tale.” 

Lifting his leg up, he steps into the endless pit. He feels the wind blowing against, as he slowly falls back to the reality he is familiar with. Opening his eyes, he takes a good look at the Nohrian scenery - Weak lights flickering in this never ending darkness. People are celebrating their victory against Hoshido, as they sing and dance in the Nohrian plaza. He shuts his eyes back - The next time he opens it, he will be back to his bed. His groans must have wake Sakura, and she will hold her tiny hand against his own. ‘It’s just a dream’, she would say, as her giggles echoes the room. Kamui would then come in, and tell how strong Hoshido is, and that they will never lose to the Nohrians. Ryoma would then invite him to a training battle, and compliment how much stronger he has become. Hinoka would then bring him around and explore the secret areas of castle Shirasagi. Mother would then embrace all the siblings in her hug, as she tell them there is nothing to fear in this world.

That he is strong enough to live alone.

Strong enough to… live alone?

“No!” Leo’s voice breaks his thought. He could feel a strong tug on his feet, preventing him from falling down. Turning back in shock, he sees Leo - Half shocked by his own action, half sobbing because of barely losing his friend. Those arms try pulling him back onto the ground, as his head nudges into his feet. It is as if he is begging him not to go - He has never seen such a vulnerable Leo. Such a genuine Leo that screams out every single thought in his head.

“What about me?” It was a half angered, half desperate yelp. Tightening the grasps, he repeats. “What about the Leo in this world?” Those hazel eyes looks up and meets the amber eyes of his. His tears roll off his cheek, as that desperate, childish Leo cries out. “Rather than dying with your family, would you mind living for me? Would you mind staying with me, so that I can be saved by my selfish actions?”

Takumi squints and looks away - He doesn’t want to accept this Leo as real. He cannot accept this Leo as real. He wants to move back, but the tug on his legs are tight. He wants to throw himself off, so that thought could disappear with him. Yet, Leo didn’t let him go - As if a child begging his parents to stay. 

Takumi wants to crack a smile and smoothes Leo back, yet he can’t. His heart arches when he does so. He will admit that Sakura and Mother are dead if he does so. This chaos will once again be true, and that this cold blooded war is reality.

“Leo, please. Let me return to them so I don’t need to suffer…”

“But we’ve promised, Takumi!” Leo interrupts before he could finish his sentence. “We will find a way out in this situation. We will walk out of it together - Whether this is a dream or not.” He begs, grabbing at his legs harder than ever. “We swore that - As a child who both lost their parents, we will fight a way out in this chaos!”

Takumi sinks his teeth into his lips. It isn’t long until Leo regains his princely demeanour, and regrains himself from stopping his friend. He loses his grip, as he steps back, shamed for what he had done. Staring down at his friend, silence is once again restored - It is as if time has suddenly stopped. As if the next sentence they say will be changing the tale, forever.

“I’m sorry.” The Nohrian whispers in the wind. “I know, this is a lot for me to ask you. You have every right to return to your family. Every right to end this ever haunting nightmare.” His focus gradually shifts upwards, from the ground slowly reaching up to his amber eyes. “But would you mind living for me, so that I can be redeemed for what I have done? Can you stay in this tale for a little longer, so that I have the reason to live? Would you mind staying with me a bit longer, so that I won’t break down from all the chaos in this nightmare?”

Takumi jerks back. Is he afraid of his chaos? Of course, and that’s why he first denies accepting anything as fact. Even now, he still refuses to call anything reality - Sakura and Mother’s death are just the ghost in his never ending nightmare, the burning castle are just scenes he heard from the horror stories, and the breakage of his family is just one of his deepest fear. They are all fake - He persuades himself to believe it, even until now. Yet, when he looks those kind hazel eyes, they are so real that is nothing like his dreams. The determination, the desperation, the desire - He had never seen these before. Those are the only part of the tale that feels real, but is more than enough to break his own ‘tale’ theory into pieces.

Enough to shatter that naive dream of his into fragments.

Staggering, Takumi steps off the ledge. When he touches the castle floor, all those terrible memories drive into his brain - So bloody, so senseless that the fear nearly torn him apart. His heart arches harder than ever, as those tragedies made his body powerless. He could only gazes up at those hazel eyes - The only force that keeps him going. The only direction he has in this empty world. His hand reaches out, catching the Nohrian’s shoulder before the terror tears him apart.

Closing his eyes, he could only feel he was embraced by the Nohrian Prince. He feels a soft smooth on his back, alongside the wet shoulder he is leaning on. He doesn’t want to open his eyes - Sakura and Kamui will not be waiting for him. Ryoma and Hinoka will not be teasing him. Mother will not hug him and say everything is okay. He knows it very well - He is living in a nightmare. Yet, even in this endless darkness, such comforting action heals him - The warmth is so real that he refuses to say it is fake. He is forced to choose between those two, and any choice is going to break him - He knows this very well. But for now, let him buried in the mixture of terror and comfort. The mixture of despair and hope. The mixture of tale and reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn Takumi, you made me feel. Even though it is obvious you won't jump down since I didn't add major character death tag.
> 
> And I will never ever do a suicide chapter along with an open ended essay.


	4. Begone Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry about the late update (again). I was crying hard yesterday because of the chaos brought by the coronavirus. Yesterday was tough.
> 
> Not beta-ed, so probably a lot of mistakes.

How nice would it have been if it is all a dream?

Takumi flutters his eyes open. There is no Sakura sitting beside him, no Mother smoothing him. It’s not a busy Hoshido setting, not a room filled with bright sunlight. Instead, it is covered by the shadow Nohr is famous for. He tries moving his limbs, sore and trembling. Bruises all over his body, along with pieces of dried up blood on his skin. They were beaten, kicked around, too weak to get hold of anything in this twisted reality. Too weak to capture anything in this tale _._

A day has passed since he attempted suicide. Even though he had promised Leo to stay, when his feet touches the ground, all the tragic memories crammed back to his brain. The blood, the crashing sword, the war - They are too much for him to take in. The sole thought of his made him dizzy, as he fainted in Leo’s hug. When he woke up last night, all Leo could do was telling him that it’s all a tale. Nothing happening here would impact the reality. His eyes squinted - He knew Leo was lying. Yet, to protect himself from breaking down, his inner body convinced himself. All those shattered memories are just imagination, he muffled again and again. Everything, everything will return when he open his eyes again.

But it didn’t.

Twitching in his bed, Takumi doesn’t want to wake up. His sight is blurry, just like how it looks when he dreams. His body is warm, like how the blanket encloses him in his sleep. This is just a dream. All a nightmare that will soon pass. He tells himself as he churns in the bed. When you wake up the next time, they will all be waiting you.

He covers his head with the blanket. Pressing his eyes shut, he forces himself to go to sleep again. Yet, when he closes his eyes, all he sees is the burning castle. All he hears is the sound of people crying. All he feels is coldness of the requiem itself. Shaking his head, he forcefully recalls all those heartwarming days. It did work, until he relaxes and the tragedies once again haunt him. The unending blizzard, he sees, with blood painted all over the ground. The villagers screaming, begging for someone to save them. The Nohrians then step in, slaughtering everyone in their way. One young dark mage then walks in front of him. With the woman’s head in his hand, he turns back and stares at him - Him who is hiding behind a bush.

“It is all your fault.” He glares down onto the Hoshidan Prince. “Your Mother’s death, your sister’s death - It’s all you to blame.”

Takumi could only squeak between his pants. Grabbing the blanket harder, he shivers and curls into a ball. These are all he can do against the nightmares - Shield himself, lie to himself again and again. There is no use struggling - He know he wake up from it a long time ago. Not when there is no soft caress on his cheek, or a bright smile on his siblings’ faces.

“Takumi?” A big ‘bang’, followed by rapid footsteps coming to torment him again in this nightmare. The pants loudens, as he pulls the blanket off his head. He doesn’t want anyone to come - It is better leaving him alone. Even if those are the people he can rely on, cause their death will be his nightmares sooner or later. The freezing hands swiping his bang away, alongside with breath buffing on his cheek. A few more shakes on his shoulder, he could feel, before his palm touches his forehead.

“No!” was his first instinct. “Stop!” Another high pitch scream. The coldness on the palm reminds him of all the tragedies - The blizzard, the village, the soldiers. Anything cold is going to torture him, this is already driven into the back of his mind. Everything that freezes is going to haunt him, his body spasms as he grabs the blanket harder. When the those hands grabs his harder, he swings them away and pants out. 

“I beg you… Just stop… Stop making me suffer… any-...” 

He snaps his eyes open as he pushes himself to the side of his bed. Horrified, he pulls the blanket up to his cheek, staring at whoever touched him. It was a blurry sight, as parts of the image flickers. Blinking his eyes, his breath slows down, as the vision gradual becomes clear. It wasn’t a Nohrian soldier touching him, he exhales - Is he calming himself down? But when he glances up again, he sees Leo standing in front of him, guilty and terrified for what he has done. When he reaches those hazel eyes, the Nohrian Prince steps back, jerking his hands away.

“Sorry” That is all he could muffle. It was all his fault - Leo had done everything to take care him. Leo tried just to make him slightly better. But him? All he did was slapping onto his face and giving rude comments. He must have been a terrible person, he squints and pushes himself away. He doesn’t deserve to be living with such kind person, even in this unending tale.

“That’s fine.” The dark Prince replies, but Takumi could see sadness hiding on his face. He tries reaching back to Takumi’s gaze, but the more he looks, the more the emotions leak from his eyes. “You don’t need to apologise.” He could only turn around, hiding the tears pricking from the edge of his eyes. “It’s fair for you to act this way.”

“But…”

“No buts.” He snaps, as if he is angry at himself. Walking back to the dinning table, he takes the food tray. “You must be hungry by now.” He places the food tray on Takumi’s laps. “Eat some and you will feel better.”

Takumi wanted to shake his head, but he sees the burnt skin on Leo’s hand - He must have made them himself. Sighing, his quivering hands takes the spoon, selecting his appetite. All tomato-based food, he chuckles - Not sure if Leo did that intentionally, but it’s the only thing that lightens his mood. He first has a small nibble on the beef stew he made. It tastes good - Takumi admits, even as a picky eater. But when he was about to take the second bite, his hand stops. He doesn’t want to eat - The sight of such heartwarming food makes him recall his home. All those days when Mother used to cook for his family. His hand sinks and puts the spoon back into the bowl. 

The more he compare between these days and those days, the more he feels the hollowness within. Such irony - He persuade that it’s a tale just to protect himself. But the more he convinces, the more he started recalling back to those days. It is just hurting him in another way - Is this the price he needs to pay? Is this how the Dawn Dragon punishes him for leaving his family alone?

“You might feel better if I leave.” Such a gentle mutter from the Nohrian Prince - Too kind for such a senseless bloody world. He leans back, as those hazel eyes flicker - Just like how Sakura did back in those days. Just like how Sakura looks like when she was here. Those eyes stare onto the ground, as the dark Prince breathes out. Puzzled of what he should do before he paces back.

Leo’s shadow fades into the dark realm, unreachable by him. When he leans forward to get a clearer look, he only sees Sakura standing in front of him. Her shy salmon eyes flutter as her bangs cover her brush. “Brother.” With her fingers pressing against each other, she whispers. After taking a short glance at the Hoshidan Prince, she tilts her head back down. Her nails digs into the skin, as she takes a few steps back. Back to where he can’t reach. Back to the afterlife world she should be in.

“Sorry. I love you.”

Her lips shape, as the light blinds his eyes. It is followed by the warm smile - The genuine smile that warms his heart. The smile that is too good for this world. She deserves much better than a brother like him. Much better than a brother who left him in the snow and run away alone. 

Reaching his hand out, Takumi grabs her shirt. “Sakura.” He tugs, begging her to stay. “I need you, Sakura.”

He pants out. Blinking a few more time, his tears prick out from the edge of his eyes. His sight becomes clear as the tear roll down his cheek - It is not Sakura, but Leo yet again. He bites his lips harder - Why did he keep on hurting his friend? Why did he keep on projecting the image of his family on his friend? Why does the tale and reality start mixing together? His fingers relax, as he loses his tug.

“Sorry.” That was the only phase he can say. It won’t make the situation better, he knows. He will hurt him again in the future - This is an inevitable truth. His existence ruins everything. It is because of him that people need to suffer. It is all because of him that Hoshido break down. It’s all… 

“I told you don’t need to.” Why could Leo still forgive him after all these? He is not worth saving - Leo should know this better than anyone else. He, who has pretend everything is a tale, can’t even accept his sins. So how could Leo, who sees the truth behind all these, accept his beings?

He glances up at the Nohrian Prince. His teeth sink on his lips - Is this anger that he is displaying? He then clenches his hand, as his head tilts down. “I can pretend to be Sakura, if you want.” With the bang covering his eyes, he mutters. “I will do everything for you, as long as it makes you feel better.”

Takumi could only reply with silence. The line between tale and reality has already blurred so much that he doesn’t know which is which. Everything in his life just smudged together - The chaos is breaking him apart. He knows that everything will return when he wakes up - He has convinced himself more times than he want to. But the hollowness in his heart just feels so real, as if a part of him is gone here and forever. As if his family is from here now gone. 

“That’s fine.” He forces out. Shutting his eyes, hoping that the dream can once again take over him. Yet the longer he waits, the more rapid his breaths are. His heart beats faster, as the memories stuff into his brain yet again. The feeling of fainting once again taken over him. He is falling down, he can feel it, before the Nohrian Prince turns back and catches him. 

“I told you it’s okay to depend on me!” Shaking his shoulder, Leo screams. Is this why Leo was angry? The dark Prince stars at him worryingly. “This is all a tale, Takumi. Everything in your dream can be conducted the way you want - This is all your imaginations! So please, just tell me if you need anything! I can…!”

Why does the ‘Leo’ in his dream feel so real? Why does he warm his heart? He hates to admit such feeling in his dream - It just make everything feels real. Taking a deep breath, he grips Leo’s forearm, as he slightly pushes them away from his shoulders. “It’s okay, Leo.” He hopes that the warmth will pass when he loses the touch. He hopes that by clarifying the truth, the tale would disappear. Staring right at his hazel eyes, he whispers. “Sakura and I… The promise between us two is irreplaceable.”

“A promise?”

“Yes.” He murmurs, just loud enough for Leo to listen. Gripping his hair, his head sinks. “Me and Sakura, we’ve promised to find each other as soon as things get better.”

Takumi lowers his head. “That was what we said.” He muffles out after taking a short glance at Leo. “That was what it should happen."

He loses the grip on Leo’s hand. Turning away, he tugs his hair so hard until the pain remains him of the nightmare. “But since she is dead…” He mutters, as his teeth sinks teeth into his lips. Blood prick at the side of his lips, but he doesn’t want to stop it - It is the pain he deserve. The pain he needs to wake him up from the dream. It is all his fault - His sister’s death, his Mother’s death. The burning castle, even the requiem himself - The blood is all on his hand. His tainted self does not deserve to meet Sakura. The selfish Prince Takumi does not deserve touching the Princess Sakura’s grave, it echoes in his head. 

He could only nudge his head between his knees, hoping all the voice will stop. Hoping that one day he deserves redemption. He wanted to glances at Leo. He wanted to beg Leo for forgiveness. But his inner self pulls him back - A person who created the requiem itself does not deserve it. 

“I suppose all I can meet is in her grave.” 

That is all he could muffle out. All he could say in the crossing of thoughts. How will Sakura reply to this? What will Leo say to a person who created the tragedy itself? He doesn’t even want to imagine their answer. Not so long ago, he forces himself to sleep so that he could escape from all the burden. But now, the dreams in this nightmare will just make everything worse. He will see Sakura’s depressed face, blaming him for killing her. Or even worse, where she still decides to sacrifice herself even she knows about the requiem. Where she gives him every single bit of her hope, even though he clearly doesn’t deserve it.

Curling himself, he could only hide from the world that haunts him. Away from all the burden he has on his shoulders. For once, he doesn’t want to sleep - Everything is going to haunt him again. Even if he managed to open his eyes, he will still be stuck in this unending tale - The world where all the people he cherished are gone. The world where he destroyed with his own hands. Will her sister and Mother forgive him? He doesn’t want to imagine. It’s all unending darkness that surrounds him - He can’t find light in this tale, anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ps. I have drawn a picture for this chapter. Too bored at the airport waiting.


	5. Garon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for the one-week-plus delay. Last week has been chaotic for me, and a lot of you as well. Hope that you are safe in this pandemic!
> 
> Anyways, I have changed Part 1 quite a bit while I was dealing with my fanzine. Xander originally wanted Takumi to be a 'dragon vein slave', but he had seen his siblings suffering from using too much dragon vein. That's why he stopped and insisted on Takumi being Leo's slave / captive.
> 
> Thanks Lightning and Erika for proof reading!

_A promise between Takumi and Princess Sakura._

Leo can’t forget this whenever he looks at the Hoshidan. It has been a day since their last conversation. Like every other time, he ends up shutting himself up - Mentioning Princess Sakura must have pained him. Leo tried starting a new topic a few times, but it doesn’t seem to catch Takumi’s interest. His eyes were dull, lifeless and hopeless, like how they were when he tried to commit suicide. 

Would it be better if he allowed Takumi to fall down? He hates how much he is regretting it. Two days have already passed, and there is no way he is changing it. He had saved Takumi physically - Both by rescuing him in the snow and catching him before he jumped down. Mentally, however, his existence is just making everything worse - The suffering would have stopped if he was dead. He could have reunited with his family if he jumped down the wall.

Everything would have been much better for him.

He glances at the Hoshidan Prince while working on his studies. Takumi hasn’t slept ever since that talk - He remembered seeing him sobbing below the blanket last night. His eyes flicker every few minutes or so, yet forces them open whenever he is about to doze off. He glares at his hand and bites his lips angrily. Why does Takumi need to keep hurting himself? Leo wanted to throw himself and hug him. But when he realizes he was the cause of the pain, he holds his hand and stops.

Finishing reading the last line, he flips the page.

What can he actually do to help him? He could only let out a sigh. Everytime when he wanted to make him feel better, he would just ruin the situation. Not caring Takumi might be the best thing he can do, he clenches his fist, but releases it soon after. Only the bond between the Hoshidan family can cure him. Only his family will be able to pull him out of this desperation. Only Princess Sakura and Queen Mikoto can truly save Takumi.

He presses his finger against the paper - Both of his loved family were dead. He could pretend as Sakura, or even put an illusion spell on himself. But what will happen when that little lie breaks? Takumi will fall into despair, one that is even darker than it was. One that makes him truly lonely. There will be no one he can rely on - Even his best friend has betrayed him, if he hadn’t done that already. Such lies are not worth the price - He had learned that lesson last time.

There is nothing he can do - He is not his family, but just a friend staying beside him. He is just a partner walking along the same path of fate, helping him when he stumbles down. In the end, it is still his family who encourages him to stand up. It is the family bond which gives him strength, but not his sacrifice.

Glancing at the Hoshidan Prince one more time, he sighs. How useless is he in the grand scheme of things? He returns to his book. Yet, when he is just about started reading the first sentence, there is a knock on the door. ‘Come in’, he wanted to say, but it opened before he could even say a word.

“Lord Leo.”

“Didn’t I tell you to wait for my reply?” The Nohrian Prince stares up at the outlaw. He hasn’t seen Niles since that chaos - Great, cause he does need those three days to calm down. He was about to disband him, but doing so would just make the whole situation more complicated. Biting his lips, he could only hold his salt behind - Looking at Niles made his guts churn. But for the time being, he needs the outlaw’s help. 

As always, the outlaw grins at the worst possible time. Is he testing his limits? Leo would only let out a groan. “Tell me quickly.” It is a solid command. “I don’t want to see you for one more second.”

“More like Lord Leo doesn’t want the ex-Hoshidan Prince to be traumatized by my appearance.” The mention of his friend blooms anger in his chest. Leo bites his lips, but holds his hatred. Reacting upon his speech will be falling into Niles’ trap. He will tease him how childish he is once again. He will just comment how incapable he is as a Nohrian Royal. There is just way more reason to ignore the outlaw than to debate upon this issue.

The outlaw chuckles when Leo’s hazel eyes reach him, demanding him for an answer. “King Garon wants to see you now. Probably something about the pathetic…”

“Enough, Niles.” Taking the cloak from the hanger, Leo pushes the outlaw away. Something about how he wandered around the castle that day, he knows. How depressed he was when he thought Takumi was dead, he should have prepared for that. Without even glancing at him, he paces towards the door. “Take care of Takumi until I come back.” He mutters as he touches the doorknob.

“The Hoshidan? Aren’t you afraid that…”

“I said…” Leo turns back. Narrowing his eyes, he stared at his retainer. His lips part - They are still shivering, but he needs to pretend he is strong. He needs the strength to protect Takumi in this tale. He clenches his fists and bites his lips softly before continuing his sentence. “Take care of Takumi until I come back.”

Niles falls back. There must have been a smile on his face, but he didn’t get to see it. He should have looked at Takumi one last time, but admitting that this is the last time is as if admitting his death. The strong lives, the weak dies, this is the way of living. There is no exception - Even the strongest tactician will not be spared if he shows his weakness out. How did Father give mercy to him? It was a mystery - How could he not execute him when he was holding the Hoshidan Prince’s hand in the snow? When he was doing everything just to save the country’s pawn? He thought that was the worst thing he could ever display, but little did he know about the tragedy that followed. Maybe Father has also predicted that, so he won’t need to ‘deal with him’ in front of everyone - Leo could only force a smile.

His steps are getting slower, even if he didn’t mean to be. His hands tremble, even if he tells himself to cheer up. He cannot show such a pathetic self in front of Father, he warns himself again and again. Yet, the shiver doesn’t stop, as fear blooms in his heart. Is this how people feel when they are near dead? He wants himself to relax, like every other time. Like every other time that he can let it go of everything and act as a senseless killing machine. 

An emotionless killer - That is the way of living. This is how Leo withstood the eight years before Takumi arrived.

He takes a deep breath before knocking the King’s personal office. It is all for your survival, he whispers. Put on your princely persona and hide that kindness away, he exhales. His shoulder relaxes and his eyes narrow, only reflecting the bloodlust out of him. Lifting his half-shivering hand up, he knocks the door. As footsteps walk closer to the other side of the door, his hazel eyes stare up.

This is the start of his battle.

The door cracks, opening onto a slit. “Your Majesty,” Leo hears the butler’s voice on the other side of the door, peeking at him as he speaks. Placing his hand on the dagger, he steps back - You never know whether it is your enemy or your ally. Not when you are in the Nohrian Palace.

“It’s Prince Leo, Your Majesty.” The butler continues with a slightly joyous tone. It was first a moment of silence, possibly waiting for the King’s reply before he pulled the door open. Stepping at the side, he bows down, welcoming the Prince’s visit.

“I have come, Father.” The Nohrian prince kneels down. Lowering his head, he stares at the ground. The air inside his mouth tickles - As much as he wants to hide his fear, it still pricks out from his heart. The wait for the King’s command is agonizingly long, or maybe he’s just imagining it. The door behind him has shut, and the butler has walked away. He wanted to glance up and peek at Father’s reaction, but didn't dare doing so.

“Stand up.” Finally. It was as if he had released a burden on his shoulder. But that is just the beginning - They have yet to cross swords, but he can already feel cold sweat on his back. Pushing himself up, his sight moved up. He expected Father to be standing in front of him. Instead, he prepared snacks and welcomed him to the table.

“Take a seat, Leo.” The fatherly tone makes this situation more unpredictable than he thought. The sight of the King smiling sent a cold shiver up his spine - He had never seen his lips tilt up ever since the start of the concubine war. It is a trap, he stumbles to the empty seat. There is no way Father would have cared for him. He just wanted him to feel better before he gets executed.

With his half-shivering arms, he shoves himself up onto the chair. He took a deep breath and regained his thoughts - There was no need to panic. No need to worry when he had done this so many times before. He exhales and wears the princely mask. Just when he was about to lift his head, the sound of the tea pouring into his cup caught his attention.

“It is all thanks to you that we have won the battle.” Was that a compliment? Or was this an irony? Leo’s hazel eyes looked into the King’s scarlet ones, but failed to see anything behind his thoughts. The King doesn’t play his cards normally, more like he never does. That was how he manipulated the Queen’s feelings and took this opportunity to invade Hoshido. It was his unusual strategy that brought him up to this position.

“I was just doing what you suggested. It was Father’s plan that brought us victory.” A firm, emotionless reply. No grace nor fear, but just a narration of what had happened. He thought the King would have forced a laugh, like every other time. Lean back and appreciate the twist in his face, like how he did to every other commander. Instead, his shoulders relaxed, with his fingers just tilting the teapot up. Placing it back to the tray, his face softened.

Shock - That is the only word Leo could describe such a situation. If he hasn’t been keeping track of himself, his mouth must have been wide opened. He hasn’t seen the King acting so casually in ages - Everytime he sees him, he is in the throne room. High upon the stairs and staring down at him. Never would he be in his equal - Did he earn it? Or did anything change? Just when he is still evaluating the situation, the King’s scarlet eyes meet his own hazel ones.

He didn’t get to hide them, he bites his lips. A miscalculation on his part.

“Just like Xander’s.” Father closes his eyes and takes a slip. Should Leo follow? But all those reactions had made his brain stop working. His body has frozen in place, unable to move. All he could do is puzzly gazing at his Father, hoping that he could dig something more from those scarlet eyes.

Yet, all he sees is his genuine emotions - The Fatherly figure that Leo thought he has given up being. Caring eyes gazing upon him, begging him to open up his emotions. 

“Firm and a bit fierce.” The King places the cup down, as the glassware clings against each other. “Yet under that fabricated emotions, I see kindness - Just like how Xander reacted upon him.”

“Him?” His face is twisted - Who would Father be talking about? To see someone with the same sort of kindness - There aren't a lot of people he can choose to start with. His Mother? But no way would Xander care for her. If that’s the case, it only leaves one option - The person he hates to admit the most.

Pushing himself back, he looks up. “Prince Takumi?” He whispers and observes the narrowing of the King’s eyes. Is that why Takumi is spared when he was first captured? He could only look away from the King. The Hoshidan captive is saved so many times because of the Nohrian Royals’ selfishness, he wants to force a chuckle. Takumi’s destiny has always been a plaything in the eyes of his kind - That is what led him to such an ending.

“You have quite a connection with him.” The King takes another slip before gazing back at the Prince. “To save someone in such chaos - What does he mean to you?”

“I am sorry, Father. It was my…”

Before Leo could continue, the King rubs his head. “The war must have done a lot to you.” Why does his voice sound so kind? Why can he see sadness in the his eyes? The King of conquest shall not show such sympathy to war - He is meant to to do that. The cries of the people suffering should not move him - To help their country, sacrifice of the weak is inevitable. That is the ruling of Nohr - The strong survives, the frail dies.

That is how Nohr should survive.

Looking up, Leo meets the King’s eyes - Kindness, he sees, behind the burden of both the concubine war and the country. The care he has for the children - Both his own and even the enemy’s. He doesn’t want to see anymore kids dying in front of him - Their deaths stir up the tragedy they have experienced. Not when he had seen more than enough children suffering because of him. Maybe that is guilt that saves Takumi. Such kindness that pulls this Hoshidan ex-Prince into this twisted destiny. Into this unending white night requiem.

He wants to force out a sigh, to plaint at such a truth. He has always thought such kindness would have saved the Prince, but all he did was pulling him even deeper. It would have been much better if he had a quick death, so none of this tragedy would have continued. It would have been much better if he let Takumi go, so that he doesn’t need to look at how his family fall in front of him. Yet he couldn’t - That wicked Nohrian kindness had forced the Hoshidan Third Prince into this twisted fate. The more he forces his care into him, the more Takumi suffers. In the end, it is still his selfishness that drives the tragedy. His ignorant that causes Takumi to break apart.

A drop of tear pricks out of his eyes. To realise how evil he has been. To realise the light in his heart is just a curse for his dear one - That is what the war has done to him.

Leo wipes off his tears before it has fallen down his cheek. “It has.” Clearing up his throat, he regained his previous regal position. Regretting what he has done would not change anything - All he can do is to make a better future from now on. “But what we can do is only move forward. Alongside with the burden of war. With the weight of the people who sacrificed.” 

A smile from the King. A genuine, relieved smile. His scarlet eyes flickers - For a moment, he sees kindness reflecting out, but is covered up as soon as he leans back. “You have grown much more than I thought, Leo” He crosses his hand as he wears the mask once again. “So much as a commander of the army.”

“It was my honour, Father. Thank you for giving me such an opportunity.”

A grin from the Nohrian King, followed by wicked chuckles. “The victory celebration will be held a month from now.” A confident voice speaks up, just like how he usually acts. “As the commander of the army, we expect you to be here on time, Prince Leo.”

The Nohrian Prince reaches up at the King’s eyes - His lips slightly tilt up, as his eyes brim the unspoken kindness. Meanwhile, you are free to go anywhere you want, Leo can as if hear this in his gaze. To return the Hoshidan Prince back to where it was, or to continue injecting him with his wicked kindness - It is the choice he has to make. To continue grabbing Takumi’s hand tight, or to let him go back to his original fate - This is what it meant by going forward.

The Nohrian Prince returns with a smile on his face. “It is my greatest honour to be there, Your Majesty.” He straightens himself and bows down. Hiding his face behind his bang, he mutters. “And thank you, Father.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, I did Garon good, didn't I?


	6. Burden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha by now you guys can just expect me to be one day late. Always.
> 
> Thanks Erika and Lightning for proofreading and giving me comments!

Being in the room with Niles alone makes Takumi uneasy to say the least. On the bright side, the outlaw didn’t irritate him, like how he did when Leo was here. All he had done was stand around and packing up Leo’s stuff. Yet, for some reason, the sight of him sends a cold shiver up his spine - Maybe it is the after effect of experiencing that tragedy. The fear that he hasn’t yet conquered.

Leo has been away for more than an hour by now - Rather unusual for him to leave for so long. Something must have happened, Takumi could tell just by the way he looked at him. The moment he told Niles to look after him shocked Takumi, since Leo never seemed to believe the outlaw. When his hazel eyes reached his amber eyes, he knew Leo had been overworking for him.

This is all his fault - How many times had he blamed himself? This tale, this dream can be changed by his imaginations - He had told himself so many times. He had forced his eyes to shut and recalled a better setting. But when he flickers his eyes open, it is always a Nohrian scenery awaiting him. It has always been his unending tale greeting him in the morning. It just feels so unreal - The destiny has been looping himself since the requiem. Everydays seems the same to him - He is stuck in this story.

The swing of the door catches Takumi off guard, as the Nohrian Prince returns to his room. Everything okay? He wanted to ask, but does he deserve it? Hugging his knees closer, Takumi observes Leo’s twisted expression - Anxious, as if he is hiding something from Takumi. His eyes are filled with guilt, blaming himself at things that aren’t his fault. Takumi wanted to tell him that the criticism should be on him instead. But as he tries to reach out, his arms freeze - He can’t allow himself to have more emotions mixed in this tale.

Leo must have seen him glancing, as he quickly turned his head away. “How was the meeting?” The outlaw interrupts, but it couldn’t stop the Nohrian Prince from walking away. It was first a smirk from Niles, yet he raised his eyebrow when he started packing his books and clothing into his travelling bag.

“All good.”

“So where are you going?” Making fun of Leo, like every other time. Leaning back onto the wall, the outlaw appreciates the slight twitch on his master’s face. “I don’t recall any upcoming travelling schedule, Prince Leo.”

“It is none of your business. Just me and Takumi…”

“Getting away from the King’s execution?” Niles crosses his hands, teases and tries to get a reaction out of him. Instead, it is Takumi who is shocked - Why will Leo be executed? Why did he need to sacrifice for him? Didn’t he say that they are going to walk out of this danger together? He could feel the tears pricking out from his eyes. Yet, as he is turning his head to Leo, he realises his face is calm. That wasn’t the reason why Leo is panicking, he relieves as his shoulder relaxes. That was just a joke from the outlaw.

“Nothing related to the King, if that is what you concern.”

Annoyed, Niles steps in. Leaning towards his face, he groans. “Then why are you in such a hurry?” He takes a closer look at the items in the bag - Books, alongside a few sets of clothing - It's more of a travel kit than a package for going to war. Keeping the stare on the Nohrian Prince, the outlaw paces back. “Don’t tell me that you’re going to Hoshido.”

Hoshido? What does he mean by going back to Hoshido? Takumi straightens himself and stares at Leo in confusion. Hoshido is devoured by flames, he wants to say. Everyone there hates him. His path of fate does not allow him to step back there, he narrows his eyes, waiting for Leo’s response. There was nowhere left for him to return. No one was waiting for him to be back.

No one - Mother and Sakura are no longer there. Ryoma, Hinoka and Kamui have turned against him. He needs to take up the burden for their deaths, as well as succeed the path that they have taken.

That is the truth he needs to accept. The reality he’s living in.

His heart arches, but he still forces his focus on the Nohrian Prince. He hopes that they are all not true - Of course, so he can hide back into his bed like every other time. So that the nightmares will stop haunting him once in a while. The longer he has been away from Hoshido, the longer he can escape from all those voices - He wants that, somehow, even if some shattered memories are going to haunt him here and there.

Narrowing his eyes, he begs Leo to deny what Niles had said. Yet, when their eyes met, all Takumi could see was a silent acceptance. A kind face that doesn’t want to let go of the things he has been protecting. The response that Takumi wanted the least.

“Why so?” Unlike the normal tease he gives, Niles’ smile is crooked. Worried - It is the first time Takumi sees such emotions in his eyes, sprinkled with disappointment. Gripping the Nohrian Prince’s shoulder, he speaks. “How far will you go just to save him?”

“This is none of your business.”

“This is not how a Nohrian Prince should act.”

“I told you this is none of your business!” The roar scared Takumi, causing him to flinch back. Hugging his knees, he squints - Why does Leo insist on going to Hoshido? Why would he think that this would save him? Leo should have seen that it will hurt him more. He should have known better that Hoshido is not welcoming his presence! The Hoshidan tugs the blanket closer to his cheek, squinting at Leo in doubt. Is this the same person he has known? Why does he suddenly want to bring him back to the flames? Why would he return him back to where he saved him from?

For once, Leo finally returned his gaze. Kindness first reflects from his eyes - The caring gaze that Takumi is used to. But with a blink, he pulls that kindness to the back of his mind. Forcefully, Takumi could see, as if he intentionally hides those emotions. Wiping the kindness away, he stares at Takumi.

“Leo…” Takumi just realises his throat is dry, as his voice cracks out. It has been some time since he last called his friend’s name - It has always been Leo who has been calling to him. He could have waited for the Nohrian to realise it, like every other time. Like every other time that he waited for the chance to come. Like every other time he can just blame this tale. Yet this time, he feels like he should really voice out - He doesn’t deserve to go back to Hoshido, no matter how much Leo thinks he is. He has done so much evil that it is only fair for the Hoshidans to hate him. Only fair to keep himself away from Sakura. 

“Are we going to Hoshido…?”

The question shocks Leo, as his eyes widen for a split of a second. ‘It’s fine if you don’t want to’, Takumi could hear it when he opens his lips. But his teeth dig into the flesh before he could speak up - Why is Leo so obscure about his emotions all of a sudden? Why does he force all the tears back inside? He wanted to ask Leo if it wasn’t his heart stopping him.

“Yes.” Leo whispers. His hand clenches, with his nails digging into his skin. He wanted to reach out and caress Takumi’s sad face. He wanted to step closer and tell Takumi not to scare. But he can’t - All that Nohrian wicked kindness is just going to ruin Takumi’s life more. He needs to stop himself before his Nohrian curse started contaminating Takumi.

It was first a twitch in Takumi’s face - Hearing Leo saying ‘yes’ so confidently upsets him. The sting in his heart is getting stronger, so much that it starts to become unbearable. “Why?” His voice is desperate, panting out between his gasps. “Why do you want us… Want me to go back to Hoshido?”

Why do you need to let me realise the truth, when you told me that you walk with me until the end? Why do you need to make me face my mistakes, when you said everything here doesn’t have consequences?

A raise of his eyebrow, followed by a cold stare. “It will be better for you.” A command, even though he can hear slight guild at the very end. His hazel eyes flicker and turn away from his stare - They cannot bear the sight of Takumi’s sad eyes anymore. Stepping back, he muffles out. “You belong to Hoshido - This is where your fate shall lie, not here.”

“But!”

“No buts, Takumi.” Why? Why does Leo give him such a depressed sigh? Why does he need to turn back and give the ‘this is what must be done’ look? Takumi doesn’t understand - Why all these, all of a sudden? Why did he suddenly change the way he acts, from protecting him from going back to forcing him back to the flames? Leo should have known better about the situation than anyone else - His people hate him. He is tainted with the blood of his Mother and his sister. He is a disgrace to the Hoshidan Royals. He doesn’t deserve to be back - He shouldn’t step anywhere close to Hoshido anymore. 

His flickering amber eyes gaze at Leo. “Then why?” Pushing himself forward, he muffles out. “Why did you want to bring us back to Hoshido? Why do you need to suddenly remind me of the tragedy itself? Didn’t you say that we are finding the end of this tale together? Haven’t you done everything to bring him away from the flames?”

Glancing back at Takumi, Leo stops the action on his hand. “There is where the ending lies.” Biting his lips, he turns back. “The land of the cherry blossom - That is the only place which can bring you back to the reality you cherished. To those days when everyone is alive, when the requiem hasn’t even started. I am just a part of your dream - When this tale ends, I will disappear alongside the fragments of this nightmare.”

“But Leo…” Before Takumi could continue, Leo raises his hand and tells him to stop. Tears are pricking out from the edge of his eyes - If Takumi was stronger, he would have been able to stop it. If he had the courage to tell Leo that he knows this is the reality he is living in, then it might have stopped Leo from doing so. This has never been a tale - He knows deep in his heart, but he refuses to speak it out. He is tainted with the blood of both his Mother and sister - He knows this better than anyone else, but he couldn’t get to accept it. These are all the wrong he has done, and now he is just snowballing and taking Leo down with him. 

It is all his fault - From the start to the end, it is his patheticness that drives this tale going forward. Hugging his knees, he could only nudge his head between his knees. How much unnecessary trouble would have been solved if he wasn’t here? How much less people would have been sacrificed if he was killed in the first place? Saizo, Kagero, Mother, Sakura, and now Leo - They could all be prevented. Everything would have returned to normal if he had never ever existed.

He slips a dagger into his shirt while Leo and Niles are packing up. That is what must be done. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have also added a bit in the last chapter (Garon) just to suit this chapter.
> 
> Takumi’s suicidal thoughts really start to get it into me.


	7. Curse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHA I am one day late again. Staying at home really makes me procrastinate more.
> 
> Warning: Racism, hated language, violence
> 
> Thanks Erika and Lightning for proofreading.

When this tale ends, the memories of him will disappear alongside with the fragments of the dream. He is just a mere character in this chaos - A signpost in Takumi's journey searching his way back home. He cannot pull him back from where he should be - He just appears in a short section in Takumi’s fate. A mere friend who walked alongside him in his dreams.

This is what he is, no matter how he tries to be the ‘protector’ of Takumi. No matter how much he sacrificed to gain Takumi’s heart. All his efforts are just adding a layer and another layer of curse into Takumi’s twisted destiny - His wicked kindness is what he shall blame.

A day has passed since Leo, Niles and Takumi had left the capital. It wasn’t his first intention to bring the outlaw, but it is better safe than sorry. He never knows what is ahead of them - Hoshidans hate Nohrians, but they despise the Hoshidan ex-Prince even more. ‘The cause of the requiem’, that is how both the people say. The King even ordered to bring the ex-Prince back, should anyone spot him, alive or dead. It will be the end of his journey once Takumi is sighted, so it’s always better to have one more person looking after him.

The carriage has finally come to a stop. The bottomless canyon, the place where old Hoshido and Nohr were separated. The colour of the skies changed - From the neverending darkness in Nohr, to the bright skies on the other side. The invisible line between the dusk and dawn, this is how historians used to say. But now with the victory of Nohr, the Hoshidan borders will shift back to where Shirasagi castle lies. Everything outside the capital is now Nohr’s land - That is the trade King Ryoma decided to accept.

Putting the hood on, the trio hide their faces under the robe. Even though they are nowhere near the new Hoshidan borders, it is still better to keep their identity a secret. There are still Hoshidan guards wandering around, not knowing about the recent defeat. Plus, he is travelling as a mere Nohrian child - Showing up as the Prince of Nohr will just stir up unnecessary panic. And that is the least he wants to happen.

To protect Takumi in his journey back home - That is all he needs to do.

The North wind blows. The barren land is covered by a layer of snow, burying the dead under this white carpet. Blood is nowhere to be seen, as opposed to the battlefield he last came here for. From chaos to peace in such a short time, isn’t that ironic? He could only bite his lips as he stomped into the snow. To walk forward and forget all the blood trails deep down - what he wants to be. To be stunned at the beautiful snowy scene without realising the death he has caused. But in the end, what is done cannot be returned - When the sun rises, the snow will melt, showing the corpses and blood once again. It is impossible to wash them away, and these dirt are just going to curse the fated child even more.

Turning back, Leo glances at Takumi. His face is pale - Did the blizzard remind him of the tragedy he experienced? Did the cold sting his heart once again? He wanted to smooth him, hug him and tell him everything is okay. ‘This is not what you deserve’, his lips shape, but words cannot come out. He reaches his hand out, but tugs it back before he could once again contaminate this pure child.

Let go of this child and bring him back to where he should be, this is the punishment for killing. The cost he has to pay for turning his fate upside down. The curse that he has to live with as long as this song continues to play.

“Leo?” The innocent child whispers. He has been glancing at him worriedly here and there, Leo noticed, but hasn't been able to speak up until now. The amber eyes flicker, as continues. “Are you okay? You have been acting weirdly since you came back from the King.”

The Nohrian could only narrow his eyes and sigh. “I’m alright.” Lies, but what else can he tell Takumi? Telling him that these all are his fault? That he’s sorry for pulling him into this? No matter how many times he tries, he can’t get the words out of his mouth. The sight of Takumi antagonising him again is unbearable - He wants to be the light in Takumi’s heart until the end of this dream.

“Okay then…” He blinks a few more times before dropping the gaze. With a slightly depressed face, Takumi pulls his hand back into the robe. “Please tell me if you are feeling unwell, Leo.” A soft mutter, with his eyes hidden behind the hood. “Please tell me, even if… even if…!”

“Even if…?”

The Hoshidan shakes his head. Tugging his robe, he covers his face. “Nothing.” He forces out after a long silence. With his face twisted, he slowed down his step - Further from the Nohrian Prince and closer to the outlaw. Leo tries signalling Takumi to come closer, but his efforts are in vain. 

“Pathetic.” 

Hm, for once he can’t deny this from Niles. On one hand, he begs Takumi to open up to him. Yet on the other, he refuses to face Takumi genuinely - It is just an unequal love between them two. He is just too pathetic to tell Takumi the truth, too pathetic to lose him again. That’s why now, all they could do is to struggle between the words of lies. 

Letting out a sigh, the Nohrian prince turns back. With Leo in the front and Takumi way behind, the trio crosses the bridge. 

“We will cross the old borders soon.” A soft statement that he hopes the Hoshidan has heard. Glancing back, Takumi raises his gaze back to him. His lips are slightly parted, as if he is waiting for Leo to continue his sentence. “This might be a bit harsh, but do not take off your hood no matter what happens.” He punctuates between each word, ensuring that Takumi has heard it clearly. The boy nods, as the Nohrian continues, “My words will be a bit offensive, so as Niles’. But please do not take it seriously - We only say so because we want to protect you.”

The Hoshidan gives another small nod before hiding his loneliness behind his hood again. At times like this, he should hold his hands. He should lend his shoulder for Takumi to lean and weep on. The Nohrian Prince slowed down his step, trying to get closer to the Hoshidan. But what if these will create another requiem for Takumi? What if these cares will make future Takumi sad? It isn’t the first time that his wicked love has pulled him into danger - It is a curse, a curse binded between him and Takumi.

The Nohrian turns back as they walk to the old Hoshidan gate. There are still some soldiers stationed there, probably because the official victory statement hasn't yet been declared. It is technically still Hoshidan land, but none knew about the capital’s defeat. Cargos and cargos of Hoshidan goods are exported through the borders - This is the price King Ryoma decided to pay for their defeat. The sacrifice he decided to make just to keep his people safe.

Leo and Niles put off their hood when they arrived at the gate. “Who’s there?” A surprised call from the Hoshidan soldiers - It must have been long since they had seen any travellers. Hurried footsteps echoed as the soldiers returned to their position, only to be disgusted by the face of the Nohrians. 

“Nohrians…” He groans in fury. Stepping back, he ensures that there is at least half a meter between them. “Identity approval.” He glares and commands. “We need to check your identity, especially when you are Nohrian.”

Leo sighted. Afterall, he was the one who painted the land in blood, the one who planned the war. It is only normal for him to be hated by people, cursed by their words. Searching over his bag, he hands out his fake travel documents - Niles have made them so they feel less suspicious.

“So you are travelling with your guardian, kid.” The soldier gives him a quick glance. His face twisted - Have they met on the battlefield before? Leo escapes his look, as the soldier turns his focus to Niles. His eyes narrow, suspicious of the outlaw. His hand clenches, as anger brims out from his eyes. The soldier must have recognised Niles, but there is nothing he could do - Nohr has won and Hoshido has lost. Losers cannot defy anything the winner says. Even if he knows the documents are fake, he cannot say it out. All he could do is to bury their anger deep down, hoping that the curse would one day vanish.

“How about him?” Pointing at Takumi, he groans out with a twisted expression. “Any identification?”

“Just let him through.”

“Is he a Hoshidan?” 

“Yes, and he is my slave.”

Leo grips Takumi’s wrists and tugs him closer. “Did you get the difference between us and you?” The dark Prince stares up at the soldier, whose eye is brimming with anger. “You should be thankful that you are not one of them - You still have your freedom all because of King Ryoma. If not you all will end up…”

Niles covered Leo’s mouth before he could speak anymore. The Prince retaliates, only to realise Takumi is trembling beside him. His stare is empty - His words just now must have hurted him, even if he told Takumi not to care. Gripping Takumi’s wirst softly, he gives him a reassuring gaze. ‘It is fine.’ He signals Takumi before pushing Niles back. 

“Do you get it, Hoshidan?” A solid command from the dark Prince. Clenching his hands, the soldier could only move away. As irrational as it is, there is no stopping them. This is the life of the losers - They can’t say ‘no’ to the victor.

Releasing the grip on Takumi’s hand, the trio passed through. It is finally done, Leo sighs. Yet just as they thought all the danger is over, another young guard raises his eyebrows and asks.

“You are Prince Takumi… The missing Prince, right?”

Shocked, the Nohrians turn back. But before Leo can reach the Hoshidan ex-Prince, he is pulled away by the first soldier. Slamming the child onto the wall, the soldier’s face turned from annoyed to confuse, then to anger. He bite his lips, as the grab on the child strengthens.

“Takumi!” Leo cries, yet is stopped by the younger soldier before he could reach any further. “Niles!” He commands, but the outlaw refuses. The show in front of him is just what he wants to look at - If they two refuses to speak of the truth, then this is what they deserve.

Groaning, the Nohrian takes his fire tome. He casts the spell, only to be deflected by the younger soldier. “This is our own matter, Nohrian.” The soldier points his blade at the Nohrian Prince. “You don’t know how much we hated that Prince.”

“Neither do you know what underlies the burning castle.” With a swipe of his hand, he summons fire on his hand. But when he was about to do a full on attack, Takumi’s scream pierced through the air.

“How shameless do you need to be to betray your own country? How heartless are you to kill your Mother and your sister just to keep yourself alive?” The soldier screams, as all the buried anger flows out of his lips. “Traitor Prince, selling your soul to the filthy Nohrians! Slaughtering all the people who tried to protect you! Do you even feel guilty for what you have done? For all the people you hurt and killed?”

“I…” Trembling under the grip, Takumi chokes out. Mother, Sakura, dead, the words echo in his brain, as tears roll off his cheek. His heart arches, as he once again repeats, “This is not real… Tale… This is...”

“You are not only a traitor, but also a dreamer.” He slaps his face and stares into the amber eyes. “Why did you even need to exist in this world? Why are you even borned in the first place? You are just a curse - A curse that kills everyone who loves you. A curse that brings everything down. Do you really not feel anything when your siblings and your Mother fell for you? When the whole country is in chaos because of your selfish act?”

“I… Sorry…”

“Kill yourself if you are guilty.” The soldier chokes the Prince as tears continue rolling off his face. “No, death is too good for you - You should fall to the deepest dungeon in hell if you really want to repay what you have done! Torture yourself until you know how your sister and your Mother feel! Kill yourself so many times for the so many deaths you have caused!”

“I… I…!”

A sprouting tree crushes through the soldier's hands before he could interrupt any further. “Enough of this nonsense!” With the wounded young soldier beside him, the Nohrian Prince shouts. Creating a barrier between the kids and the soldier, he rushes beside his friend. “You Hoshidans better know your limit - Don’t ever dare you make me mad or you will be killed.”

The soldier bites his lips. But before he can make another move, Niles points the blade at his throat. “You better be obedient, trash. ” Whispering beside his ears, he smirks. “Thanks for the show, but don’t tell anyone about the Prince’s arrival - That’s what my Lords says.” 

Filthy Nohrians, he was about to scream out, but the blade presses at his throat before he could do so. “I told you to be quiet.” The outlaw whispers and forces a few gold coins into his pocket. “That should be enough for your family for years, or do you really want to be killed?” 

The soldier flings the blade away and gives a hated expression at Niles. “Get it, Nohrians.” The soldier drops his weapon and carries his wounded partner. Glancing at the kids, he walks away “I will be quiet about this, but it is not like I have forgiven the traitor Prince.”

With the soldier departing, Leo hugs Takumi. He is still shivering, pupils widened because of the shock. “Are you okay?” He presses Takumi closer - How long has it been since he had last hugged Takumi? How long has it been since he had last allowed himself to touch the boy? He knows he should let go of it. He knows that he was the cause of this accident, but his body doesn’t allow him to do so - Seeing Takumi getting hurt stinged his heart. 

“Leo…” The amber eyes flicker. Panting out, he hides his face under his hood. “I’m…” He twists in the Nohrian Prince’s hug. “I’m… I’m…”

“Takumi?”

“I’m… I’m off better dead. I am just a curse in this world. Right, Leo?”

His lips tilt up into a wicked smile, yet he feels into unconsciousness before he could laugh at himself. Catching the fainting Prince, Leo bites his lips. Why does Takumi always need to suffer from his mistakes? How much wrong has he done to let Takumi feel despair once again? The wicked love he had is a curse - He can’t deny that. He had even tried holding it back, yet it all ends up with another tragedy. What is going to happen will happen in the path of fate, no matter how hard he retaliates. Takumi is going to suffer from his loss - That is the curse he has to live with.

The Nohrian Prince carries the fainted Hoshidan on his back. With a wave of his hand, he signals Niles to continue their journey. The colour of the sky has changed, as the Hoshidan wind greeted them. As much as he wants to stop and appreciate the scenery, there is no time to do so - Princess Sakura’s funeral will be held four days later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to give Takumi a hug. You don't deserve this.


	8. Engraved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I am finally back!
> 
> Warning: Attempted suicide and mention of self harm
> 
> Thanks Lightning and Erika for proof reading!

When Takumi wakes up again, the sun has already set in the horizon. Struggling on Niles’ back, he blinks. The bruises sting, and his muscles are sore. His neck is inflamed, wounded from the choke not so long ago.

“Oh, you are finally awake.” With two hands carrying him on his back, the outlaw speaks. His head tilts back, as his grey eyes gaze at the confused child. A grin on his face, like every other time, before his eyes narrow. “Lord Leo has been very worried about you.” He lifts the child higher when he starts slipping down. “You better than him for saving you.”

“That’s fine, Niles.” A sharp interruption by the Prince. Pulling his face over his hood, he escaped from the Hoshidan’s gaze. He bites his teeth - Takumi sees a slight movement on his head before carrying on. “I don’t mind. Plus, don’t ever mention that incident to Takumi again, Niles. That’s an order.”

A grin, the typical reply the outlaw gives. Moving his limbs, Takumi wanted to get off his back, only to realise how damaged he was. Bandages all over his shoulders and forehead, with purplish spots on his arms. Even breathing pained him - The inflammation on his neck was worse than he thought. He is weak and wounded, like every other time. Like every other time Leo would rush towards and protect him. Like every other time, he continues to be a burden for the Nohrian Prince. He doesn’t deserve to live - The Hoshidan soldier has said it clear. A person who betrayed his family and country should receive the worst punishment. A traitor like him should finish himself when he realizes he is just a living disaster.

He snuggles his head into the outlaw’s neck. Leaning on Nile’s hair, his lips flutter. “Leo…” He muffles out his name, with the ‘thank you’ left unspoken. So many times he told himself to thank his friend. So many times he convinced himself that this is not a tale. Yet whenever he tries to speak out, the words are choked in his throat. He can’t admit it - He is too pathetic to accept this as the ‘reality’. Too pathetic to recognise this lonely, burning world as the reality he has always been living in.

That’s why he deserves to be dead, more than anyone else. His death will end this whole sorrow - Everyone else would have a better life without him.

The Nohrian Prince turns back. A welcoming smile, he hopes, only to see that his hazel eyes are hollow. Emotionless, or did he just force his worriedness behind his mask? But when Takumi looks back at him, he escapes from the gaze, unable to face the sins he had done. Guilt sparked in his eyes for a second, before it is once again buried in the emptiness.

That is how they interacted for the next two days - Leo has always been staring at Takumi from afar, afraid of getting close. His hazel eyes are brimmed with worry and guilt, but his lips refuse to speak it out. As if he has been forcing himself to get away from Takumi, the Hoshidan Prince sees in those hollow hazel eyes. As if Leo once again lies to himself that he doesn’t care about him, yet deeply he can’t stop himself gazing at him every few seconds.

It is now the third day since they have arrived at Hoshido. By now, Takumi’s wounds are more or less healed - There are only a few bandages on his shoulder. His throat still hurts, but only when he runs that the pain becomes unbearable. He can now walk alongside the two Nohrians, even though Leo still keeps a good one metre between them. He is peeking at him every few minutes, Takumi catches, yet they never have the courage to start a conversation. 

The day’s journey finally came to a stop when the trio arrived at a village. A small village with only a dozen people. A distant village that is away from all the flames and the requiem. When they first stepped into their land, they were invited with disgusted stares - The gaze they always get in the Hoshidan territory. But with a few conversations, they quickly opened up and invited them into the village.

Such nice people, Takumi’s lips tilt up before hiding his face behind the hood. It is rare that Hoshidan gets to take a step forward and accept the Nohrians, and even rarer that he can treat Nohrian strangers with a smile. How nice would it have been if everyone had done the same? How nice the world would have been if there was no war? The requiem would not have echoed, and the tragedy would not have continued. None would have pointed their blade against each other, and none would have died because of it. There would not be either Nohr or Hoshido - The world would be unified, as people accepted the difference between themselves.

But does he have the right to imagine this? His head sinks. He was the cause of the sorrow - it was because of him that these all underlying emotions were triggered. Because of his existence, this world has gone into chaos. The circle of hatred is completed because him - he is the puzzle that brings everything together. When that piece is taken away, the tragedy will stop. The anger will stop burning. His family and a lot others would have survived. He is just a living disaster - Everything beside him is breaking down.

He doesn’t even know where to start with.

With the guidance of the villager, the trio has arrived at their room. The outlaw put their luggage down as she showed them around the room. When she was about to leave, she informed them about the festival tonight and welcomed them to join - Even if they were Nohrians.

“So, will you go?” Locking the door behind, the outlaw unpacks their luggage. With a smirk on his face, he observes his master being deep in thoughts. “It is a good opportunity to know more about Hoshidans.”

Letting out a sigh, Leo stands up and crosses his hands.”I suppose.” A deep, steady statement. The voice of a Nohrian Prince, arrogant and confident, not like him as an exiled Prince. “How about you?” He raises his eyebrow as he turns towards his friend. “You want to join?”

Shocked, Takumi’s eyes widened. “I… I…” He murmurs as he regains his thoughts. It has been quite some time since he has been to any Hoshidan festival - His Mother didn’t allow him to step out when he was back. It has been more than half a year since all the chaos started, and even longer since he has last been in any festival. Like every other child, he of course wants to go and attend one. Yet, there is a weight upon his shoulders - What if he is recognised? What if he gets lost when having fun? It is just too much of a risk, even though he desperately wants to.

“I guess I will pass.” Lowering his head, he covers his eyes under his bangs. “Thanks for inviting me, but I would prefer staying here and resting.”

“Then I’ll pass as well, Niles.” A short, sharp statement pierced through the air. Crossing his arms, the Nohrian Prince returned to his sitting posture. “There is no point going if...”

“You don’t need to quit because of me! Like Niles said, this is a good chance for you to…”

“There is always a chance, Takumi. It is not fair for me to go and you to stay.”

“It’s okay - I have been stuck in the castle for months. Being here for a while isn’t that big of a deal.”

The Nohrian Prince looks up. His eyes soften when he exhales. “But what if someone attacks you while we are away?” He muffles out. “What if someone from the capital is trying to bring you away? It only takes half a day from here to castle Shirasagi!”

Gasping, Takumi’s eyes widened. They are just half a day away from castle Shirasagi. He will soon face the castle guards, people who will recognise him as the exiled Prince. And if they are planning to get into the capital, he is sure that they will meet his lost siblings - Not as a brother, but as a traitor. An exiled Prince, the one who betrayed all, the one who is hated by all. What can he say in front of his betrayed brothers and sister? What can he tell Sakura about all the chaos he has created? He doesn’t even know if he should beg for mercy. He doesn't even have the words to express how guilty he is for his actions - He is just a wildfire that burns everything down. No matter the enemies, or the woods that bring him to life - Everything beside his will just be burned into ashes.

To take these all at once, it is just too much.

“Leo…” The Hoshidan ex-Prince muffled out. The thoughts makes him feels ill - He has always thought that there was another day to process all this chaos. That there is another hour he can naively sleep and forget all the troubles. Yet now, the arching pain in his heart once again reminded him of the reality. The endless snow reminds him that this requiem is still ongoing. It is time to wake up from this dream.

Digging his nails into his skin, he pulls his knees towards his chest. Blinking his eyes, he whispers. “Would you mind giving me a bit of free time? I want to rethink something… Myself.”

A flinch from the Nohrian Prince - Is he surprised, or did he predict this? “You sure?” Calm, yet worried. Genuine, yet fabricated with a layer of white lie. A few steps forward, Takumi hears, only before he pulls his hand back, returning to the safe distance between them. His hazel eyes reach the amber ones, as they stare deep into his thoughts.

“Get it.” With a bite on his lips, the Nohrian lets out a sigh. An annoyed sigh, a sigh filled with anger at his powerlessness - Takumi could see them in his face. Should he ask Leo what happened? But there must be a reason for him to hide it. He must once again be so kind that he won’t know the devastating truth. He must be pushing himself to the limits such that Takumi won’t suffer anymore. This is just too much for a traitor Prince, Takumi wanted to say, yet is too pathetic to lose his only friend. He is just too powerless to keep hold of anything in the tides, too weak to let himself sink. 

Heh. Cravenly clinging to life instead of braving death - That is all he could describe. 

It didn’t take long for the Nohrians to pack up their necessities. Leo must have been annoyed, Takumi thought when he bit his lips. But the longer he observes, the more it feels like anger towards himself. Anger because of how incapable he is at protecting him. Blaming himself yet again because of his rash decision. He just isn’t a person that is worth saving - Why did Leo not get it? Why did everyone need to sacrifice themselves again and again, just to prove how horrible of a person he is?

“Leo…!” The Hoshidan Prince shouts. Reaching out, he tries to take his friend. Yet he is nowhere near - They have already finished packing up and are standing beside the door. Looking at him from afar, shielding him from danger. The hazel eyes are brimmed with sorrow. Leo shakes his head, begging Takumi not to continue. With a hand on the doorknob, he turns back with a warm smile on his face.

“It’s okay, Takumi.” A miserable yet kind voice, accompanied by tears pricking out from his eyes.“You don’t need to be sorry - It is not your fault.”

With another forced smile, the Nohrian Prince released the grip on the door. Is that the banging voice of the door, or of his heart? He doesn’t know. He had never seen such helplessness and despair from Leo. To make things worse, it was himself who caused it. From his dear siblings and his Mother, his wildfire is now starting to burn his best friend, the only one he cherishes in this world. The curse he brings is just affecting everyone beside him, and there is no exception.

The sound of the fireplace echoes the room - It is only him and himself. A mix of loneliness, yet he feels calm at the same time. At least no one else is affected by his presence now, at least no one is suffering because of his existence. He grips his wrist, as he looks at the snow falling onto his beloved homeland. There is nothing left below, all burned by the flames he had created. All destroyed by the curse engraved onto his soul. 

He can’t blame Ryoma for hating him - As a crown prince, there is every single reason for him to kill the cause of this requiem. He has every single reason to end his life, so that his people will have a better future. He cannot tell Hinoka that he had made the right choice - She had told him to take his stance a long time ago. To escape from the weight that comes with this path, it is just how pathetic he is. And Kamui, he just doesn’t know what he can say - Now with Sakura dead, and him exiled from the Hoshidan family, Kamui is all alone. Gazing up at the stars, begging their family to return. All because of him.

Gazing at the pure white outside, Takumi lowers his head. How naive would he be to think that he could redeem himself? How childish he was when he thought the requiem would end when he escaped from the burning castle? These curses are engraved into his heart, bound to his soul - He cannot run away from the sins he had committed. Everything has been set in stone since the moment he had been captured, since he was born into this world - The Dawn Dragon had decided that his existence will bring war and chaos. If he really cherishes his homeland, if he really cherishes all the people beside him, then he should have ended himself long ago.

Takumi squints, as the ashes flows out from the fireplace. He forces a laugh - The cost of saving himself from breaking down is to sacrifice the lives of people he loves. When he thought that these all are just a happy-ending tale, what he really does is just destroying the world outside. Of course, he is the main character of his story. But because he is the main character, all the side characters will sacrifice for his own good - Is this just a sarcastic way of presenting how horrible he is? Or is this how this unending nightmare works? He doesn’t want to know. He doesn’t want to open his eyes - If this is the tale, then what world will be waiting when he wakes up? Did he even have the right to weep in front of his siblings, telling that their deaths in his dream are all his thoughts?

He relaxes his shoulders as he walks towards the flame. He could feel burning hot on his face, yet it doesn’t warm his heart. Will reaching back to castle Shirasagi be the start or the end of this chaos? He doesn’t know. Whether he is in a dream or in a nightmare - he just has nothing to compare it with. His life is a joke, destined to walk into this path of thorns. Or maybe, it was the path surrounding him that was laid with thorns, killing whoever he tried to bring alongside him. 

Swiftly, he takes the dagger he hid throughout the journey. Placing the blade onto the fire, he observes the light radiated as it heats up. As opposed to the growling North wind outside, he smiles, yet does it matter when they both are just going to end his life? End his life for the greater good? He closes his eyes, feeling the warm air pushing against his lungs. He doesn’t want to see the end of it. He doesn’t want to meet the end of his journey. That is what he knows for sure - He just wants to stop destroying everything around him for a second. 

Taking a deep breath, he takes the red hot blade out of the fire. He points it against his throat, but his hands shiver. Is he too pathetic to accept his death, or is death too good for him? Is he too afraid to sacrifice, or his sacrifice is nothing compared to the damage he had done?

Cravenly cling to life instead of braving death. He can’t think of any better sentence to describe himself.

Placing the blade back into the fire, tears prick from the edge of his eyes. He tried thrusting the dagger into his heart a few times, but his hands are too weak to do so. So be it - He doesn’t allow himself to die because of his horrible selfishness. The Dawn Dragon doesn’t allow him to die after committing such sins. To beg for death, yet end up living a life worse than death - This is the price he needs to pay.

He regains the dagger from the fire. With the blade pointing at his forearm, he presses it against his skin. His scream echoed in the room, as the red mark burned into his skin. Yet for once, he feels like he is alive in this tale.


	9. Fragmented

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things happened, people procrastinate. (That's why I haven't update for a month plus)
> 
> Btw, thanks Eirika and Lightning for proof reading it for me.

Leo holds Takumi’s hand tightly. Is his hands shivering, or is it he himself who is trembling? He once swore that he would never interfere with the Hoshidan ex-prince’s fate again - Everything he changes is just going to bring him bad luck. He should let go of all the chains he had been pulling - His Father has shown how horrible it will be if he continues doing so. Even Takumi himself had told him to stop, clearly and confidently. Yet, he can’t let himself do so - He’s too afraid to let go of the Hoshidan ex-Prince’s hands. The world is going to collapse onto his dear friend, and the only light in his journey will vanish. He tried believing him. He tried leaving Takumi alone as he wished. But when he returned from the festival last night, all he felt was a stab on his back.

The burning fire, the blood pool, and a wounded child lying in between - He did not expect that when he opened the door. Burnt marks were crafted on Takumi’s forehand, with blood pricking out from the wounds. Worried, he ran beside his friend. Pressing his fingers on his wrists, he checked his heartbeat - Still beating, thankfully, yet that is the only good news. Takumi has fainted, probably because of the pain he exerted to himself. He cannot read the words, but they’re probably the curses Takumi had given himself. Curses and burnt marks that should only belong to prisoners, but not an innocent child like him. Not when all the blame pointing at him are just a consequence of his own actions.

The Nohrian Prince grips Takumi’s hand tighter. He doesn’t want to lose him. Not here, not now. They have walked so far from where they had started, so long since they had begun the tale. Yet the more he gazes at the child, the more he realizes how likely it will be. They are both wounded, from the hatred their action gains as well as the noises in the air. They are both on the verge of breaking, as if a string had pulled to its limit. Any more force is going to break them apart - Anything has the potential to shatter their hearts into fragments.

This is the horrible reality they have been living in - Shattered, broken, leaving fragmented pieces behind. Some tried to put them back, some tried to glue them together. Yet, the more they tried, the more effort they have put in, and the more torn it has become. What has broken cannot be reform; What has been lost can never be retrieved.

It has been quite a walk since they left the village. Travelling in Hoshido has been troublesome - They had thought on lenting a cart, but all the Hoshidans they asked refused to lend them one. They tried asking for a lift, but all they got were stares from stubborn Hoshidans. Thus, all they could do was to travel from the border to the capital by stepping through the thick snow. This ended up being much longer than he thought. Yet, the good news is that they should still make it in Princess Sakura’s funeral.

Stomping through the snow, the coldness started catching into Leo’s chest. Where are they now? He hoped that he knew the answer, but all he sees is a scenery of utter white. Whether they had been travelling towards the castle, or that they have always been walking in a circle, he has no idea. All he could rely on is the really old map he got from the library and the faulty compass.

Confused and puzzled, the Nohrian Prince let out a sigh. The snow isn’t making their journey any easier, and the wind is making it worst. Tired, he wanted to rest a bit. But just as he was trying to slow himself down, there is a soft tug on his hand. “Takumi?” He turns back to the amber eyes. “Is there something you would like to talk about?”

The child narrows his eyes. With a bite on his lips, he lifts his wounded hand and points at the wall. “Great Wall of Suzanoh.” He muffles out between the soft yelps. Pulling his hood over his face, he continues. “Castle Shirasagi… We’re nearly there.”

The dark Prince raised his head. He had read it from the books in the library, but never did he think it would be so big. What would have happened if Hoshido didn’t surrender, Leo doesn’t want to imagine - This defense is beyond what he had prepared for. Did King Ryoma bow down just to minimise the casualties on both sides? Did he surrender so that the requiem can reach its finale? He squeezes his eyes tight as he lowers his head.

Yet, as princely as it might sound, what has written would not be changed. The Hoshidan King is now Nohr’s puppet - This is the truth that cannot be denied. Moreover, he is not coming for this - Takumi is now at his side, and he is coming back to return the Hoshidan Prince to where it should be. To return this child’s fate to the path it should be. The requiem has been out too long, and it is the time to end it.

Leo grips the child’s hand tight as the trio pass through the gate. If this is where the tragedy started, then this will be where it ends. If his people were the ones who pulled him out from his fate, then let him, the best friend of this child, to be the one who returned him back to his destiny.

-

The day ends when Niles finds a small room for three. Being in the enemy’s capital is not easy - The Hoshidan hate yet fear them more than ever. So many times, they stared at Takumi, doubting if he was the lost exiled Prince. So many times, the border guards raised their eyebrow when their eyes meet the child. Leo wanted to pull and walk away as if nothing had happened. Yet, when he peeks at his face, he sees the shiver under the hood. ‘‘To give yourself to the evil power.’ Leo could hear whispers when he staggered through the crowd. ‘To taint your Hoshidan blood with filthy Nohrians. You don’t belong here.’

Pouring a bucket of water over his head, Leo could only wash out so-much of his thoughts. The images of the day have crammed into his brain - What could have been avoided if he didn’t interrupt his destiny at all? A lot less would have died, including Queen Mikoto and Princess Sakura. A lot less would need to suffer, at least from the Hoshidan side. And Takumi, he would not have been blamed for all the tragedy. A loving family, and a peaceful kingdom - That is what it would happen if he hasn’t been here. 

This is what he thought. What he had always thought just to persuade himself to let go of him.

He scopes another bucket of water as he sinks into the onsen. Yet in reality, he knows, just leaving him alone would cause nothing but suffer. He had left Takumi alone, as he had wished, but what does it turn out to be? A complete mess. Whether losing the grip or not is not as binomial as he thought to be - The time they had been together had changed the structure of the tale. Now, with everything shattered and the world filled with hatred, leaving Takumi alone is as if releasing him back to hell. His grip matters, his presence matters - He knows it better than anyone else. He knows he is actually protecting Takumi, even if all he brings him is curse.

He knows that, from the very start, He knows he is saving him, even if there is way more fact saying he isn’t.

Even so, some part of him just tells him to return him back to where it should be. A part of him begs him to get away from the Hoshidan exiled Prince. Not because that would bring peace to Takumi, neither that to the world. Not because that would reunite the broken Hoshidan family, neither to get rid of the ‘Hoshidan trash’ in Nohr. It is just him, Prince Leo of Nohr, being too pathetic. Too pathetic to see the child suffer. Too pathetic to admit that he was the cause of the tragedy. Then, even if Takumi is suffering, it would be a place where he could not see, a time where he can’t be the cause of the curse. It would not be in pile of sins - Not when Takumi is suffering outside his sight.

The dark Prince forces a chuckle. If someone told him that selfishness is what has been driving him, he cannot agree more.

Leo wanted to relax in the onsen for a few minutes more. Yet, when he recalls the bloody scene yesterday, he could only sigh and leave. Changing to his bed clothes, he walks back to his room. Tired yet confused, hopeful yet afraid of sighting the same tragedy. When he was about to enter, he places his hand on the doorknob. His fingers holds the metal piece, but refuse to turn it.

The child is whimpering in the room, he hears. Curling himself into a ball and sobering because of his life. He tightens the grip on the doorknob, but what can he do even if he is inside? To hug him and tell him that he is not alone? To caress his hair and calm him down? But does his lies even matter, when they are going to part tomorrow. Should he put another spell on him, so that he could seal all his tragic memories? Yet it’s going to snowball the problems he had, if what is on the table is not enough.

There is nothing he can do - Everything is too fragmented to piece together. 

“You seem confused, my Lord.” The whisper beside his ear scares Leo. Frightened, he jumps back, only to realise his retainer has been teasing him. “What is the matter, Prince Leo? You seem to be distracted since this morning.”

“Oh, Niles.” Leo’s shoulder relaxes as he lets out a sigh. Losing the hold on the doorknob, he take a step away from the outlaw. “I told you not to scare me like this. Plus, shouldn’t you be looking after Takumi now?”

The outlaw forces a chuckle, followed by crossing his hands over his chest. “Why bother to look after him when he is going to leave anyways, young Prince?” His smirk widens, as the Nohrian Prince’s pupils constricts. “Whether that child decided to commit suicide, or to be taken away by the Hoshidan King, it is all about the poor kid. Does that matter to you now, Prince Leo of Nohr?”

Leo lowers his head. Does Takumi matter to him? Yes. But as a Nohrian Prince? No. This is the fact that he had always refuse to accept - ‘Saving Takumi’ is just a naive dream he has. A childish dream that would never succeed, a tale that would never end happily. He wants be at the Hoshidan’s Prince side, accompanying him through challenges they face. He wants to be guiding him, seeing him grow and develop as a person. Most importantly, he wants to be the light, the silver lining in this utter darkness. 

But all these are just a dream - It is destined to end, destined to be shattered. This is all a nightmare, fated to end in the most horrible way he can imagine. There is nothing he could do against it, nothing he could retaliate from these chains of destiny.

“It doesn’t.” He muffles out, as the sound of his heart cracking echoes. “Whether he survive or not, it doesn’t matter.” He grips his hair, pulling them just to cover his eyes. Biting his lips, he muffles out. “To Nohr, to me, or to Takumi - It doesn’t matter. Everything doesn’t matter, I know. I know… but…” 

His hands shiver, as blood prick from his wounded lips. He still wants to dream that tale, even though it is destined to fail. He still want to see Takumi smile, even if what is cost is way over than it should be. He still want Takumi’s fate to be complete, even if that means shattering thousands and thousands of others’ one. Even if that means bringing the whole world and himself down.

He lowers his head, as Niles' footsteps get closer. “You better make up your mind, young Prince.” The outlaw whispers after a pat on his shoulders. “You are a cold-blooded, intelligent Prince from Nohr, my Lord.” He gulps as he leans closer. “You are better than some weeping kid begging for love, Prince Leo.”

A push on his shoulder, as the outlaw walks to the far end of the corridor. Leo glances at the doorknob - Whether Takumi decided to end himself, this is none of his business. The story between them two has already ended, and all he could give is a blessing for the upcoming journey. There is nothing he can do to interfere - For Takumi, and for himself. The tale has been set, the requiem has ended, and all he needs is to release the grab on his friends’ hand.

With a deep sigh, he tried stepping back. Leaving Takumi alone and secretly tell King Ryoma to ‘pick him up’. This is the best choice, he knows, yet his legs refuses to move. Refuses to betray his friend once again. With another deep breath, he reaches out to the doorknob, but his fingers refuses to twist it. They are trembling, afraid of leaving his friend, yet terrified to accept the truth. They are quivering, afraid to lose hold on Takumi, yet refuse to open the door and stay beside him. 

It is like gripping the edge through the cliff - He should have long let himself fall, yet it was that naive selfish wish that keeps him going. Keeps grabbing it even if his hands are wounded and bleeding. Keeps gripping on it even if he is destined to fall.

Is this the world that is fragmented, or him who is shattered? Is it the world which drives Takumi into this destiny, or he who forces him into such a path? He wanted to open the door, but all he could do at the end is to bang his head against it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really need to re-read the whole story to get back the emotions, haha. Especially for the next chapter.


	10. Funeral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, really really sorry for the procrastination. This chapter ended up harder than I expected, and I have spent most of my time redoing a certain part.
> 
> Thanks Erika and Lightning for proof reading.

The spring wind blows the cherry blossom off the branches. With the pink petals now dancing in the air, the celebratory horn plays. Young kids like him are running around the plaza, getting free food from the stalls. Adults are setting up the markets, putting out their best crops for sale. His family is standing at the centre of the plaza, waving their hands and waiting for him.

“Come on, Takumi!” The oldest brother cries. “You better be quick, or else all the good food will get out of stock!”

Hinoka gives a smack on Ryoma’s back, telling him to be more patient with his little brother. Such rash action makes Kamui laugh and Sakura chuckle. The Mother rubs Ryoma’s and Hinoka’s heads, reminding them that there is enough food for all. That there is no need to rush, no need to leave Takumi behind.

He had nearly forgotten the warmth his life used to have.

The youngest brother staggers towards his family, but is pushed by the crowd a few times. ‘Sorry, Prince Takumi’ , they say with a smile on their face. Lending the young Prince a hand, they guide him to his family. Patting his head, they praise how brave the Prince is before letting his hand slip pass.

“Wa…!!” His Mother spreads her arms, as the younger brother throws himself into her hug. Combing the platinum hair, tears prick out from the youngest Prince’s eyes. “I thought I was going to lose you all.” It was a half muffle, half sob. “I thought you would be going without me. I thought…”

“We will never leave you, Takumi.” His Mother whispers and smoothes his back. “Even if there is something to rush at, even if the whole world is going against you. We, as a family, will never leave you behind. There is just nothing more important than a family, right, Ryoma?”

The oldest brother lets out a sigh. Tilting his lip up, his voice softens. “Sorry for calling you to go faster, Takumi.” He kneels down and pats his head. “It must have been scary wandering around alone, Takumi. I’m really worry about that.” His gaze narrows, as the his eyes are fixed on the younger brother’s one. “I swear, we will always wait for you. We will always wait for you and visit the stalls together.” He puts his little finger up and wraps it around Takumi’s. “Promise.” 

The young Prince clenches his finger and wipes his tears away. Holding his elder brother’s hand, he followed his siblings’ footsteps. Tasting the new Hoshidan sweets, playing the traditional Hoshidan games, scoping the goldish out of the pool. Together.

The celebratory horn echoes in the air.

-

Takumi flickers his eyes as the sunlight shines into his room. The window is covered by fog as snow floats in the North wind. The town is empty - No stalls, no laughing children, nothing but dirty grey snow falling off the ceiling. The coldness freezes up into his spine, even if the room is warmed by the fireplace. The sorrow has filled the atmosphere, as the place is surrounded with silence.

This is the dark world that he is living in. 

Pushing himself up, tears run off his cheek. The loving family, the heartwarming Hoshido - When was the last time he has experienced this? How long has he been trapped in this tale? He snuggles his head between his knees, letting the tears overflow from his eyes. Every one of those memories feels like a stab to the world he has been living in, an irony on how much wrong he has done. A sarcastic comment on how much better the world would have been if he never existed. Now, Mother is away, Ryoma betrayed, and Sakura sacrificed. Now, his people suffered and pointed the blame towards him. Now, the funeral bells ring, signifying in the death of yet another Royal family.

They have all left him alone. 

His sobering wakes Leo, who is sleeping on the bed beside him. With a worried stare at the exiled Prince, he sits on his bed. “Princess Sakura’s funeral.” He muffles out, just loud enough for Takumi to listen. Observing the sadness in the Hoshidan’s face, he pauses as his eyes narrow. Regretting what he had done, he exhales. Sighing about what the world has done for Takumi, he hugs his knees closer. 

It is an odd silence between the two. The silver-haired Prince glances at his friend nervously. The grip on his knees lossen, and he blinks his eyes. He moans, hoping to gain his attention, yet it was too weak to break the silence. With the watery eyes gazing at him, he reaches out. Begging him to hold his hand, so that he can feel the warmth he thought he had long lost. Begging him to finally take him away from the tragedy, so that he won’t be left behind. So that he knows he is not the trash that everyone talks about. So that he knows he is not the curse that everyone calls him to be.

But does someone murdering their own sister worth having his sins redeemed?

Takumi tugs his hand back - What good will he do if Leo has once again held on and protects him? There is nothing that can save him. Nothing that will save him from his sins. He is the cause of the tragedy, the start of the requiem. As long as he is still breathing, the darkness won’t end. As long as his body is still in this world, the light will never return. 

This is the world he has been living in. The nightmare where he is the villain of the story. No matter how strong the hero is, as long as the villain is still living, there will be no ending. No finale. No happy ever after. 

He snatches his cape from the chair aside and puts it cover his head. Taking a final peek at his wounded arm, he wipes his tears off. With a hand holding the hood over his face, he thrusts himself up. Staggering towards the suitcases, he takes his new set of clothes as the funeral bell echoes.

If he was the one who started it all, then let him be the one who would end it all.

-

Everyone’s heart is heavy, and the air is covered with sorrow. There are two names that Takumi hears a lot - His own, which has been criticised as always; And his sister, which people sympathise. An innocent, young girl who has nothing to deal with politics. A kind-hearted Princess who had been backstabbed by his traitor brother. He could hear these phrases echoing around the town. Her death is all caused by the exiled Prince’s betrayal. Dead all because of the traitor’s selfness. All because he gave in into Nohr’s rule

His heart pains to hear such truth. His eyes blink as another wave of guilty tears are about to fall off. They are all speaking the truth, all narration how horrible his action has become. These are all the effects his existence has brought to Hoshido, all the consequences his curse has. Just a little bit longer, he thinks, as the grip on his hood tightens. Just a little bit longer and this tale will end, he bites his lips. With a hand holding Leo’s, they stumble between the crowd. Staggering through the pathway of death, with his only friend at his side.

Just let these all end when the promise is fulfilled - This is the only meaning in his useless life, anyways.

The bell rings, as the Hoshidan Royal family enters the plaza. Wearing the black ceremonial clothes, they pace towards the statue. With heavy hearts, the people stare onto the ground, refusing to look them at the face. Too broken to see what is happening, too cursed to be visualised by the commoner. But isn’t that it? Who would have thought the strongest nation now ends up as a colony? Who would have thought that the glory of Hoshido could all be destroyed by one mere child?

While the crowd are caught off, Leo tugs his hand and dash through the crowd. Pushing off the adults, they hide themselves at the front part - Not the first line, but close enough to see the Hoshidan Royal. Close enough to see the coffin, but far enough to get away from the crowd’s attention. Close enough to observe the twist in Ryoma’s face, but far enough to get away from Hinoka’s and Kamui’s pity glances.

The bell rings again, as the Hoshidan Royal steps closer to the centre. Takumi’s breaths become more rapid, especially when the crown Prince - no - the King steps closer. He is the one who killed Sakura, he wants to believe. The new King is the one who put Hoshido into such a dire situation. That is what he has been brainwashing himself all along. Yet as time goes on, he realises he, instead, has always been the curse. He was the one who pushed Sakura to her death, just like how Niles told him. He was the one who brought Hoshido to the edge of destruction, like how every other Hoshidan commented on him. He was the one who put Hoshido to a blink of destruction, but not the new King.

He doesn’t know what to tell Ryoma - Whether to be sorry or to be angry at him. 

With those perplexed feelings, he raises his head up. Covering more of his face with the cape, he glances at the Hoshidan King. The King, out of everyone in the crowd, looks back at the exiled Prince. His pupil first contracts, as if he is shocked by the exiled Prince’s presence. His eyes then narrow, with sadness writing all across his face. Is that guilt, or is that anger? However, before Takumi could identify it, the King had already looked away.

The bells stop ringing, as the crowd turns silent. With Leo at his side, the exiled Prince looked up to his used-to-be siblings. It has been two years since he had last witnessed this - Last time, he was still too young to understand the sorrow of losing a family. His older siblings were crying, but he was standing there, confused of what happened. Now, things have changed. All he could feel was the arching pain in his heart, mixed with guilt and regret. He wants to go back in time - Go back to reality and revive Sakura. To sacrifice himself and let his sister live - That is the only wish he has.

“Citizen of Hoshido.” With Kamui and Hinoka at his side, the Hoshdian King says with a deep voice. The people look up, eyes filled with confusion, agony, madness, and most of all, despair. Emptily, they stare at their King - The blood tainted King who killed the previous Queen. The King who should bring them out of this dire situation. He looked back to the crowd - There is no kindness that his Mother had, or the bravery his Father had. Instead, it is guilt - Guilt of not being able to save him; Guilt of not being able to save his people; Guilt of bringing the whole country into ruin.

“War has taken a lot from - Our land, our property, our friends, and most importantly, our family. A soldier's greatest honour is to sacrifice for their country, but little do they know how much a hole they had caused to their family,” A deep breath, as the Hoshidan King places his hand on the shealth. His eyes narrow, and unwillingly glances at the lost Prince. “The lives we have lost can never be regained - Those heart-warming memories are lost forever. No matter how hard we try, they can never revive - That is the truth that we need to accept. The heart-breaking truth we had in our hands.”

Realising that the exiled Prince is in the crowd, Hinoka and Kamui scan through the hordes of people. When they saw the lost Prince, they were first shocked and relieved. Their lips tilt up for a brief second, before they realise they are now sworn enemies. Enemies that they can no longer interact with, even if they know he had done nothing wrong. Enemies that they shouldn’t sympathise with, even if they know better than everyone that the boy is innocent.

Their sorry eyes are fixed onto the ground, refusing to meet the Prince’s. They have so much that they want to tell, yet they can’t say anything. Takumi wants to gaze at them once more, but the tug on his hand stops him from doing so. “No.” The Nohrian Prince shakes his head. The outlaw who is standing behind them crosses his arms, disapproving what he tried to accomplish. “Please don’t.” A firn grab on his fingers, followed by another confident shake on his head. “Time has changed. They are no longer your siblings.” 

With Leo’s stern hazel eyes staring at him, the Hoshidan Prince could only give up. He takes a step back, sliding himself between forests of people. Getting away from the Hoshidian’s King’s gaze, running away from the darkness once again. But he was relocating himself, the King speaks up, more seriously than ever.

“This chaos destroyed our country, our lands, and most of all, our friends and family. The war has taken lives away from us, no matter from our closest one, or from the enemy.” His eyes narrow, as his hand signals the soldiers to bring in the coffin. “For us, it has taken away the life of both late Queen Mikoto and Princess Sakura. The kindest, yet the most fragile in this unending disaster. The one that hopes for peace the most, yet is the first to be consumed by the every-lasting requiem.”

The King looks down at the crowd, studying each person’s face until he saw one he didn’t think he would see again. Did he see Takumi, who is now hiding behind the crowd? Did he see the twisted face he has when his sister’s name is mentioned? The exiled Hoshidan prince covers his mouth and glumps down. His stomach churns, and the taste makes him want to vomit. Eyes widened, he curls himself up. The salty taste of his bile rushed into his mouth, as the pain of losing his siblings once again hit his heart. Will Ryoma feel better to see him fall? Will he feel better when the murderer of the youngest Princess is now suffering from her death? His legs suddenly feel powerless, as he kneels down and coughs out.

Such coughs catch the King’s attention. His hazel eyes are staring down at him, as if pitying him for what he has been through. His hand jerks, but shrinks back before he could reach out. Switching his focus to the coffin, he turns away. The young Princess is lying on top of the flower bed, with her hands placing on top of her chest. Her salmon hair spread across the white carpet, as her lips seal her breaths. The wind blows, as the snow floats in the air. But even when it touches her face, it fails to melt - It is an ice cold body.

As Sakura’s coffin is slowly pushed out, some Hoshidans weep. Leaning on their partner’s shoulder, their tears wet their clothing. With a tug on his sleeve, Leo asks if Takumi wants to lean on his shoulder. But there is no reply, as Hoshidan's eyes are fixed on his deceased sister. He pulls his hand again, hoping to regain his attention. But Takumi is lost in thought and frozen in place - All he sees is his kind little sister, too innocent to be killed by the howling darkness. All he sees is the neverending snow, and the only warmth he has throughout this blizzard.

Sakura.

Her name is the only thing he can now hear. Her smile is the only thing he can see. Those heartwarming days are the only thing he wants to think about. The days where the April wind blows, the season where the sakura petals scatter around the ground. Those times where his family are all united, those memories where everyone would have reached out and helped him. His body suddenly feels powerful once again, as his legs push himself forwards. His fingers slip past the Nohrian’s grip, as they extend towards the spring days. With a hold at the edge of his hood, the silvery hair strands out from the cape. As the wind blows, the hood falls off from his head, revealing his face from the unending darkness.

Let these all end. Just let the tale shatter, so that he can finally return to that heart warming reality. Just let the hero defeat him, so everyone can stop suffering from his imaginations. Just let the winter winds and senseless blades take his life, so he can finally stop hearing to all those blame and curses.

He continues stepping forward, alongside the path of sakura petals. Guiding him, leading him to the end they all waited for. The crowd cheered, celebrating the return of their original fate. The people scream, echoing his name around the town. The light shines, so bright that it blind his eyes; so warm that he sweats. He paces forward, and his breaths become more rapid. Cold sweat and tears roll off his cheek, as his heart is mixed with guilt and hope. 

“Sakura.” He muffles out, as he raises his wounded hand. His throat chokes the cold wind, as blood paints his hand red. “Sakura.” He repeats. With another step forward, his tears melt the snow around him. His eyes narrow into a line, as his lips slightly part.

“I’ve finally re…”

A rash action pushes him down. His head bangs onto the ground, as his hands are held behind him. He retaliates, as his eyes try glancing at his sister one last time. But before he could see the pink haired maiden again, his head was nudged onto the dirt. The crowd booed his name, as the thrust behind him was getting stronger. His people curse his existence, as his limbs are tied. ‘Sakura’, he tries to scream, but all he gets are the hated states. The glare he has always gotten for causing the entire tragedy.

The darkness has once again overpowered the light. Fate has once again strangled him. He wanted to reach out, he wanted to cry out for help. But there isn’t anyone hearing him - There is never light to begin with.

Heavy steps pacing towards him, as he hears the clinkling sound of the metal armour. A gasp from his older sister, soon followed by a bite in her lips. The sound of sword unsheathing, accompanied by the cheers and curse from the crowd. All blame shall be set on Takumi, it echoes. This kid should suffer from what he had caused. They clap, as the sword raises. Cursing and cheering from the crowd, he hears, as the wind swirls and the sword swings down.

In the end, there is no one that would stay and wait for him. No one that would stop and listen to him. No one that would consider him as a family and love him. In the end, no matter if he is in Nohr or in Hoshido, people would just blame him for what he has done. Everyone would just throw junks at him and curse him for his sole existence. In the end, there is no one he can lean on. No one that would lend him a shoulder and cry on.

There is never hope to begin with. Never a happy ending which he always wished.

He closes his eyes tight, as the swirling wind echo beside his ears. The rage from the crowd, yet they are nothing compared to the cracking of his heart. The darkness ties him down, but he doesn’t want to retaliate anymore. Let the blade slice his neck, let his brother finish his life.

Let this all end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I won't be able to update the chapters weekly (especially the next 3), so let's do it biweekly.


	11. Hinoka

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay. This chapter is longer than I thought. (Not to mention I have rewritten three pages of it)
> 
> Thanks to Eirika and Lightening for proof reading it.

The moment when those tender fingers slip passes his own, he knows this is the end.

Actually, those fingers are no longer tender. Takumi is no longer the delicate Prince he once was - No longer the Hoshidan Prince that is over-protected by his loving family. He had witnessed the truth, the darkness of this world. He had suffered from his mistakes, but even more from the crowd’s judgement - The blame and curses that are thrown at him, as if he is the villain of this tale. Stones and junks that are pitching at him, as if suffrage is the only thing he deserves. Those fingers are no longer soft as silk, tender as a newborn baby. Instead, they are filled with blisters and blood. Wounded and burned by flames. Already broken, yet doesn't stop it from continuing shattering down. Shattering solely because it still is fragmented into even smaller pieces.

When he touches the blister, he could feel a slight electric shock up his veins. When his fingers slip through the boy’s palm, the wounded skin rubs against his own. Rough skin that has been torn away more times that the Hoshidan can remember. Skin that has been beaten and pierced through more times that it can actually withstand. When their fingers slip through each other, he could feel hardened purplish bumps all over his fingers. Wounded and hardened bits, piled with dead flesh below. Dead by burning in the flames, dead by freezing in the everlasting wind. Dead and stiff, yet he is still forcing them to move. So that he can finally get out of this requiem. So that he can fulfil his only wish before meeting his end.

Maybe it is better for him to die than to live in this world of chaos.

His finger loses his grip, as their nails hit against each other one last time. Looking at the Hoshidan kid from behind, the silver-haired child slowly steps into the twilight. Pacing out from the pitch black darkness and reach to the only light. Walking away as if that has always been the right path - As if it is only natural to end that way. So natural that he didn’t spare a second turning back and saying a proper goodbye.

And that is how it ends: No farewell, no hugs. No blessing, no promise. It is as if he had just woken up from the dream - A moment ago, he was still deep in the tale about courage and friendship. Yet, when he wakes up, all that matters to the boy is his family - The family who betrayed him. The family who pushed him into this hole. Even if he has sacrificed everything for this boy, he didn’t bother looking back and saying goodbye. Even if he has always been the only way staying by his side, the boy didn’t even hesitated when they part.

Afterall, this is the destiny that their ancestors have set for him. Afterall, only following those who are blood related would be the correct path.

He could only force a chuckle.

Tears filled his eyes before he realizes it. What was he even fighting for? Why did he try so hard just to save that child? Did he do that for courage and friendship? Or for selfish and greed? He was so deep into the tale that he naively thought they would overpower the blood bond - So innocent to think that the Hoshidan child would cherish their friendship. The dream is now broken, with the cruel reality washing into him. None of those characteristic matters, the reality echoes. None of those times being together matters, none of those tears matters. 

This is how the requiem ends.

He plunges forward, trying to take back the hand he lost. Trying to re-dive into this sweet dream, where the child choose him over his betrayed family. Mumbling unknown words, tears fall off his cheek and freeze under the winter bleeze. He screams the boy’s name in his mind, again and again. Again and again so that the tides of time won’t wash it away. He steps forward, again and again, so that he won’t lose sight of the light.

Please let me go back to the dream once more. Please let this end with at least a proper farewell.

A hand covers his mouth before he could pronounce the name. Another wrap around his waist, pulling him back from the long lost dreams. “Snap out of it!” It whispers beside his ears. He retaliates from the grab, but the one behind overpowers it. A nudge beside his shoulder, Leo feels it, as the air tickles his ears. “You’re not a whimpering child, Prince Leo. The tale has ended. Takumi is gone. You’re all done.”

“But… But…Takumi…!”   
  


The outlaw didn’t even hesitate before lifting the Nohrian Prince up. Leo struggles, of course, but there isn’t a lot he can do when Niles is determined. While the crowd astonished by the return of the exiled Prince, the duo pushed through the sea of people. It is only until they reach a dark alley that the outlaw put the Nohrian Prince down.

“Niles! Why…!”

“Snap the fuck out of that stupid childish mindset! I am done with you bullshitting ‘Takumi, Takumi’ every single fucking second!” The slam on the wall shocks Leo, but that doesn’t stop Niles from roaring at the Prince. “Did you know what the fuck you were doing out there? I don’t mind you carelessly tossing away your life, but what about the others? More Hoshidans slaughtered because of you? Every one of your siblings executed because of your betrayal? Are you going to start that tragedy all over again?”

He leans closer to the dark Prince. Holding his breath, he stares into the hazel eyes - The eyes he once thought that would shine Nohr. The eyes that he once thought he could sacrifice his own life for. The eyes that are now filled with confusion and regret. He glumps, hoping that it would calm himself a bit. But when the Nohrian Prince escapes from his gaze, the inner fire burns again.

“Niles, I know… But even then… Even then...”

“Even then you’re still falling into the same pit hole, even if you have seen that coming miles ago! Did you accept his departure? Did you really allow him to leave? Just look at all the fucking things you have done and now!” The clench on the Nohrian Prince’s shirt tightens, as the outlaw stares into the hazel eyes. “Tell me - What are all the sacrifices for? What are others’ lives in your eyes? This is not a game - People die, a lot of people die because of solely ‘saving Takumi’. A lot of people starved to death because you want him to be saved. Flesh blood covered the land because of your childish ideology. So tell me - What does those sacrifices mean?”

Leo blinks as tears roll off his cheek. His shivering hand holds Niles’ one, but is too weak to lose the grab. He sniffs, as his lips tremble. “Just to…” He takes a short breath. “To…”

As the outlaw is focused on the Prince’s reply, a Hoshidan soldier lay a hand on Niles’ shoulder. “Prince Leo of Nohr, I suppose?” Ignoring Niles’ presence, he gives the Nohrian child a hated stare. He slips a letter into the outlaw’s hand as he continues. “King Ryoma has invited you to castle Shirasagi.”

The unprepared invitation has shocked both the Prince and his retainer. Rubbing his tears off, the Nohrian Prince retaliates from the grab and takes a deep breath. The outlaw follows, as he loses the grip and narrows his eyes. To be called right after Takumi rushed to the middle of the plaza, King Ryoma must have known their presence before the start of the funeral. Who would have told the King about it? But then, the whole world is their enemy - It shouldn’t surprise Leo when the information is leaked. Now, with him guarded by an Hoshidan soldier, there isn’t much of a choice - He, an enemy Prince, is wandering around the Hoshidan plaza. Even if his country has won the war, there is no guarantee of what they will not do.

Plus, that might be the only clue back to those dreams. Only way to reach Takumi once again.

“Would you mind bringing me the way?” The Nohrian Prince chokes out. As much as he tried to cover his week self, his eyes are still inflamed. With a bite on his lips, he beckons his retainer to fall back - Fall back and forget all the interrogation for now. He takes another deep breath, and stares at the guard. With his cold blooded princely voice, he speaks. “King Ryoma wouldn’t have invited me empty handed, would he?”

The Hoshidan soldier bites his lips. Anger and disgust hide below his eyes, Leo sees. “I will bring you the way.” He waves his hand, telling the Nohrians to follow. Narrowing his eyes, he muffles out. “This might not be the best road guide you would ever have, but that is the best we can do now, Nohrians.”

-

The duo is escorted to a room in the upper floors, presumably one for high class guests. Leo had tried ways of getting out of this situation, but Hoshidan soldiers have been keeping a close eye on them. Soldiers were following them all the way from the plaza, and more have been watching them from afar. Even if Leo had tried brandishing the soldier with his own magic, more would have come soon.

“Please wait a while, Nohrian Prince.” The Hoshidan soldier bowed before sliding the fusuma behind him. It has been an odd silence between the two - Shall they continue the interrogation? But they are now in the enemy base, together. Shall they form a plan on how to escape? But he had only gone here because of Takumi. Slightly tilting his head up, his hazel eyes meet the outlaw’s black eyes. But before he could open his mouth, the outlaw gave him a smug.

“Oh, Prince. Asking for advice?” Niles raises his eyebrow and crosses his hands. Licking his lips, he tilts his head up. “I wonder whose fault it is, milord.” His black eyes stare down at the Prince, as if pitying him on the situation he is now in. His fingers tap, impatiently waiting for the reply. The dark Prince could only glumps down. Admitting defeat, he slightly bows down. He bites his lips, as blood prick from the edge of his mouth.

“Niles, I… I…”

The knock on the door scared them both. With his hand laying on the dagger, he regains his posture. The outlaw steps back, as he observes every twitch on the Prince’s face. Panicked and regretful. Guilty and horrified. It is as if every choice could result in the end of him. The doorknob twists, as the Prince clenches onto his dagger. Cold sweat drips off his face, as two Hoshidan childs step into the room.

“Prince Leo of Nohr.” A red haired Princess groans. Holding a white hair boy by his side, she scans Leo from top to bottom. When she spots the dagger, her face tenses. Anger and distrust, Leo could feel them burning inside. Hatred and fury, he could see the flames in her eyes. She bites her lips, as his nails digs into her skin. The clench on her brother tightens, but loses it when the shorter boy tugs back.

“Hinoka. The agreement.” Leaning beside his sister’s ear, the younger white haired boy muffles. With another tug on his sister’s hand, he shakes his head. “He is a Nohrian Prince. The Nohrian Prince. The one that Takumi…”

“You two are Takumi’s siblings. Princess and Prince of Hoshido, I assume?” The Nohrian Prince squints at the Hoshidans. His fingers run on the dagger’s handle, as he continues interrogating with his princely voice. “What do you want from me? What have you done to Takumi?” 

“Takumi is safe with Ryoma, if that is all you concern.” The red-haired Princess spits out. With a glare at the Nohrian’s dagger, she continues. “We Hoshidan prefer talking it out rather than fighting it.” Her eyes narrow as she touches the weapon on her belt. “But if you want to fight it out, then I am more than happy to…”

“Hinoka!” The younger Hoshidan Prince slaps his sister’s hand away from the weapon. “What if they thought that we are hostaging their Prince? Then Ryoma… Ryoma will…!”

Holding her anger, the Hoshidan Princess could only loses the grip on her weapon. “I am Princess Hinoka, and he is Prince Kamui.” She glares at the Nohrian Prince as she speaks. “Older siblings of your ‘dear’ Takumi, Prince Leo.”

Following the Hoshidan Royals, he loses the grip on his dagger. “Prince Leo of Nohr.” He whispers. Meeting the red-haired Princess’s eyes, all he can see is fury. Hatred of tricking her brother, hatred for putting the curse on his family. Yet even with all these, all she could do is hold back. Hold back and accept their fate. Laid back and hope to forget the hatred. 

This is the destiny of losers - No matter how much they struggle, they can’t get away from the chains of the winner. Never can they defy an order from a Nohrian, never can they express their anger at him - This is the fate the Dragons have prepared, the fate that he can create.

“You seem to know about me, even before my arrival.” Stepping back, looks away from the Hoshidan siblings. He places his tome down and signals his retainer to lay down his weapons as well. “I am not here to fight. All I want is to know the truth.”

“There is no truth that you don’t...!”

The silver hair boy tugs his sister’s hand, signalling to pass the conversation to him. “I apologise for my sister’s rude action, Prince Leo.” An apologetic voice from the Prince as he bows down. “It has been a hard time for her, and she is not in the best of mood. I know that Your Highness has the last saying, but please don’t punish her for being harsh.” 

The Hoshidan Princess first refuses to, but with a few whispers between the siblings, the Princess followed. Leo is first shocked - Only a coward would bow down for mercy, that is what he had always thought. Only the most ignorant, most selfish ones would beg for their lives. Yet now, the Hoshidan siblings are bowing in front of him. Not because of their own lives, but the fear of irritating a Nohrian. The fear of losing more of their people because of their actions. Isn’t that a true hero? A true hero who put others above themselves? Leo wants to admit, but there is no such as a loser's hero. In the end, the history is written by the winners, and the losers are just following the scripts. 

It is just the sound of the requiem resonancing. 

“It’s fine.” He could only whisper in the tiniest of voice. Is that guilt that he is feeling? He holds his forearms as his eyes are fixed onto the ground. “I, as Takumi’s friend, just want to know how you know my presence. Did Takumi talk about me when he was back?”

“He did, talking about Your Highness day and night.” Is that a tilt on the Hoshidan boy’s face? But it vanishes before Leo could take a good look at it. “‘Prince Leo is always there for me’, ‘Prince Leo showed me around Nohr and let me try different food’, ‘Prince Leo is the only one who doesn’t treat me like a child’ - He has been repeating these every single day. He even sparred with Ryoma with the sword techniques Your Highness had taught him.” His eyes flickered, as they became watery. He glances away for a second, before reaching back to the Nohrian Prince. “Takumi was running around with the doll Your Highness had given him. He seems to cherish it a lot.”

Leo cracks a smile at that statement - As if he had seen those moments as well. Hearing his siblings talking about Takumi warms his heart, even if the smile is fake. “Pleased to know that Takumi has a nice time here.” He muffles out. “Takumi has been talking about his family a lot, especially Princess Sakura and the late Queen Mikoto. He really loves and believes in you all.”

He believes in his family so much, even if they have betrayed him more than once. He believes in Hoshido so much, even if they had exiled him away as a Prince. Is this the force of blood bond, or the power of destiny? Is this why all the challenge his family gives is considered a blessing, and what he gives is always considered a curse?

Maybe that is the price of being a Nohrian - He can never protect what he truly cherish.

“Sakura…”

The red haired Princess groans. Was it his speech that provoked the Hoshidan Princess? Or was it the slight smile on his face that irritates her? Her hazel eyes glared at the dark Prince, as her nails once again dug into her younger brother’s skin. “Don’t you dare to speak her name, Prince.” She howls, as the fire inside her burns. A bite on her lips, as her pupil constricts. “You don’t have the right to talk about her, murderer.”

“Hinoka!”

The sudden outburst shocks Leo. Did they know about his spying spell? Did they realise that it was all his fault? He takes another step back before fixing his eyes onto the ground. “That’s fine. Please continue, Princess Hinoka.” His whisper is as soft as a mice. Holding his forearm, his eyes flicker once more before looking back at the Hoshidan Royals. “How much of the underlying truth did you know?”

Just as the red haired Princess was about to plunge forward, the younger Prince stopped her. Taking a deep breath, he speaks with a stern voice. “The spell you casted on Takumi - We have already figured it out the first day he was back.” His orange eyes look at the Nohrian Prince’s amber ones. “Takumi said it was a protection spell Your Highness has given to him, even though Mother and Orochi had figured out that it was for spying Takumi’s actions. One for retrieving information from the enemy’s commander and planning for future movements.”

The Nohrian Prince gasps - Never did he realise that the enemy had noticed him long ago. But then, what does he even expect for an inexperienced magic user like him? Even the strongest caster have their spells deactivated by Hoshidan Omyoji, so how would they not realise it for a simple spell like the one he did? He could only force a chuckle, as his eyes reached Kamui's ones. “So you all have been acting in front of Takumi, I suppose?” His voice lowers, as if he is muffling to himself. He then raises his eyebrow, as his lips tilts down. “Why didn’t you de-cast the spell, even if you had realised it long ago? Why didn’t you tell Takumi that he is used as a military weapon, rather than a blessing from a ‘mere friend’? Why did you put all the blame on Takumi, even if you all know he is innocent through all these? ”

The Hoshidan Prince lets out a sigh. Regretful tears cover his eyes and are pricking out from the edge. He sniffs, followed by parting of his lips. But before he could speak the first word out, the red haired Princess interrupts. “Then why didn’t you tell Takumi that you have always been using him? That in your eyes, he is no more than just a disposable weapon?” She bites her lips and groans. Taking a step forward, she questions the dark Prince. “Why didn’t you tell him that the whole tragedy - Hoshido’s fall, all the deaths, and now with all the hatred with Takumi - is all your fault? Why didn’t you tell everyone that you, instead of Takumi, is the cause of this whole situation? Because you want to get Takumi to lean and depend on you, even if you tell him to be more independent? Because you want to be the hero in his black-and-white world, even though deep inside, you know that you’re the villain?” 

Leo could only bite his lips upon the Princess’ criticism - That is the only answer he has. Why did he not tell Takumi, even though he is his truest friend? Why did he let him suffer, even though he had the power to change such destiny? Why can he still use the name of ‘justice’ to call himself, even if all he had done is for himself? He steps away from the red haired Princess as her eyes beam at him. He has always knew that his presence is a curse to Takumi, he has always knew that Takumi would have lived better without him. So why did he not tell him the truth? Why did he still so naively wants to hold Takumi’s love?

“To protect him.” He whispers in his tiniest voice. With his eyes fixed on the ground, he muffles out. “To protect Takumi, so that he wouldn’t experience another mental breakdown with such devastating fact. So that he won’t attempt suicide once again. So that he could smile, even for just one more second.”

“Who the heck are you even protecting?” The red haired Princess plunges forward and grabs the Prince’s clothes. Sighting such rash action, the outlaw points his bow to the Princess. The younger Hoshidan Prince tried pulling her sister back, but that doesn’t stop her from screaming at the top of her lungs. “Just admit that - You have never been doing anything for Takumi. All you have been doing is for yourself - The kill counts, the tragedy, and then put all those blame to Takumi. Out all those blame on Takumi so that you could save yourself!” 

She howls onto his face, though her eyes are turning red. Tear start accumulating on her eyes, though too little to roll off her cheek. Deep breathing, he hears, even though she tried her best to continue. “And with all the blame on Takumi…” She inhales between the sniffs. Her clench losens, but her fingers still tried their best to grip his clothes. “And then… you just act as a hero to defend all the monster you have created. Just act as a hero, even though you have never considered his feeling. To act as a hero, even though… even though...”

Tears roll off her cheek. With the grip loosen, the Hoshidan Princess falls onto the ground. Placing a hand on top of her heart, her eyes squeezes tight. “Why did Sakura put her bet on someone like you?” She muffles out with her last voice, panting and sobbing. “Why did Sakura put her last hope on you instead of us?” Her fist clenches as she gazes at the Nohrian Prince. “Why did she used her last breathe protecting Takumi to go to your side, instead of bringing him back to us? Why did she trusted you, even though... even though we are...!”

With a final pity stare at the Hoshidan Princess, the outlaw releases his arrow. “Hinoka!” Leo can vaguely hear from the background, followed by a cry from the Princess right in front of her. Blood pours onto the tatami, as the bamboo are soaked in crimson red. The Hoshidan Prince steps beside his sister. Commanding the soldier to bring them a healer, begging the Nohrians in front to give them a vulnerary. The Hoshidan soldiers rushes into the room, pointing their swords towards the Nohrian duo. Looking at the white-haired Prince kneeling in front of him, gazing at the wounded Hoshidan Princess slowly trembling into her death, Leo shivers.

“Niles… Why…?”   
  


“Oh, sorry for being blunt on her, milord.” Playing on the bowstring, Niles smirks. “All Hoshidans who tries to defying Nohrian’s command shall be punished with death - This is what the Hoshidan King has signed. I should have killed him for hurting you, but it seems only her eyes are bad.” He kicks the Hoshiadan siblings away as he breaks the bottle of vulnerary. Turning towards the Nohrian Prince, he smugs. “And you, aren’t you trying to start another tragedy anyways? Aren’t you trying to cause another requiem just to save that Hoshidan boy?”

Leo’s face twists as his lips turn pale. A tragedy for saving Takumi? A requiem for protecting Takumi? All he wanted is to return to those good old days, where no one needs to cry. All he wants is to be friends with Takumi, and protect him from all the danger. To back to the good old tale, back to those days where no one needs to fight to survive. Those good old days where people can just lay down their difference and accept each other.

That is all he wishes.

“Please, I beg you! Please don’t kill us anymore!” With the red-haired Princess in his hug, the Hoshidan Prince cries. “We have already lost Mother, Sakura, Takumi… I know Hinoka has been rude but please… Please don’t kill us anymore… Don’t separate us anymore…! I don’t want to see yet another sibling…!” 

The silver haired Hoshidan Prince tries reaches out to the Nohrian Prince. Begging, praying that he would help his wounded sister. Leo could only stare back, shivering, trembling. Can he hold his hand and help him? He can. Can him accepting his mistake avoid this conflict all over? He can. But what have he done? Just standing aside and let this tragedy unfold. Just cross his hands and let people suffer. This is the price of having Takumi beside him. The inevitable sacrifice to save Takumi. Inevitable sacrifice for him to live. Inevitable death for him to save one live.

“Yet another sibling? More like you have pushed your younger brother into death as well.” Taking Leo’s hand, the outlaw gives the Hoshidan Prince a short glance. “Weren’t you the one who put the blame on your little Hoshidan brother? What have you done to try keep him?” Niles forces a laugh as he lowers his bow. “You, and that little girl as well - Seeing the truth but refuse to act against it. Knowing people would suffer but still refrain from changing it. Putting the blame on others even though you are doing the same. No wonder why Hoshido suffers from your rule.” 

His pupils constricts, as his lips tilts down. Hugging her bleeding sister, he beckons the Hoshidan soldier to lower their weapons. Turning towards the Nohrian Prince, his eyes flutter. Guilt and sadness - That is the only thing Leo sees. Begging him that to stop slaughter his family and let him rest. Begging him to leave the youngest Hoshidan Prince alone. Begging, praying him that he would stop creating yet another tragedy.

But all Leo could do is to turn back and follow the outlaw out of the room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually cried when Niles hurt Hinoka. Three (or maybe four) Hoshidan Royals in just one month. 
> 
> And Hinoka realising that they have done the same, that's why she cries.
> 
> Ps. In previous version of the chapter, Leo actually rebut Hinoka, saying that Hoshidan Royals are doing the same. But that got change in the last moment.


	12. Ryoma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the first time in more than 4 months, I am less than 24 hours late for an update.
> 
> Actually I could have made it in time, but I had a movie marathon and I have forgotten to post it.
> 
> Thanks Lightening and Erika for proof reading it.

“Why didn’t you kill me, Ryoma?”

Takumi is back in his room again, albeit with his hands tied behind him. His toys are still spread all across the room, the teddy bear Leo gave him is still lying on his futon. His accessories are still tidily placed on the table, but the dolls his Mother gave him long ago are gone. The dolls of his original family - Mother, Ryoma, Hinoka, Kamui and Sakura. The family who used to gather their strength and defeat the darkness they are facing.

This dream is all but shattered.

His eyes flicker, as he raises his head. Ryoma is standing in front of him, with a silver katana on his side. Hand crossed, the Hoshidan King looks down on the exiled Prince, the traitor Prince he hates. The person who caused the whole tragedy, the boy who ‘innocently’ created a war and killed thousands. There is no way Ryoma did not hate him, no way that he is not angry at him. If not, why would he even kill Mother, and why would he let Sakura die, even though he was there to save him?

But then, why did the silver katana stop when it was swinging just above his head? Why did Ryoma point the blade at him, instead of thrusting it into his heart? Why did he command the soldiers to bring him back, rather than to shame him in front of his crowd? He doesn’t get what is in Ryoma’s head, even though he has been thinking since he was captured. He doesn’t get why guilt is on his face, even though he had destroyed all his loved ones. Why did he let him slip past death? Why did he let such a hated figure be saved? There is just no way Ryoma would do that - No way the Hoshidan King would do that.

“Why did you save me, Ryoma?” Takumi groans, holding his anger and annoyance behind his voice. His tied hands rub against each other, as he glares at the Hoshidan King. “Why did you stop the blade before cutting me? Why did you let me live even though I am the cause of this mess?”   
  


“Then why are you in Hoshido, Takumi?” With his hand crosses, the Hoshidan King stares down at the younger Prince. Annoyed, his feet tapped on the ground. He walks closer to the exiled Prince, as his shadow covers the sole light in the room. His eyes narrow, as his voice softens. “Guilty for Sakura’s death, aren’t you?”

“Then why did you not kill me there?” Takumi screams, as tears prick out from the edge of his eyes. He pulls his wrists away from each other, as his skin slowly becomes inflamed. Staggering forward, his knees push his body up. “Why did you let me go? I’m…!”

“You are in no place questioning me, exiled Prince.” The Hoshidan King snaps and stomps onto the ground. When Takumi finally stops muttering, he approaches closer and continues. “Do you have shame for coming back to the country you have turned to ruin, traitor? How do you even feel when Sakura is dead?”

After taking a short glance at the King, Takumi could only lower his head and curl his body. Sakura’s death - Why does that feel so distant, even though it just happened less than three weeks ago? Why are the scars so deep, even though is just the first wave of tears? From denying her death to blaming Ryoma to now realising it is himself who killed her - It has been a long road. A very long road without Sakura, a very long road without Mother. A very long road he has been walking alone, crying in the dark. How does he feel? Sad, guilty, hatred, anger, pain, cold, despair - All those feelings grinding together and pouring on them every second. All those emotions stabbing into him as if he is walking in a path of thorns. Is he tired? Of course, more than everyone else. Tired of blaming others and being blamed. Tired to struggling in the snow and seeking for that one strand of light. Tired of all those slaughtering and meaningless bloodshed. He wants to end himself more than once; He wants to end all the suffrage and escape to the world where Sakura and Mother and Saizo and Kagero are. But he can’t - The promise of finding Sakura, the promise of meeting Sakura again.

This is all he feels upon her death; All he sees in this unending darkness.

He glances up at the King, as his amber eyes meet Ryoma’s hazel ones. Those hazel eyes with a firm stare at him. Panicked, he looks away, as tears start overflowing his eyes. His hand clenches, as his knees shift himself away from the King. His eyes are fixed on the floor, waiting for the King’s next movement.

It has a long silence before the crumbling sound of the armour echoes the room. The King steadily paces towards him, and kneels just as he reaches behind his tied hands. “We know what has happened.” A low groan as he starts loosening up the knots tied. “The underlying truth, the real facts that have happened.”

Takumi’s eyes first widened, shocked by Ryoma’s reply. But they flicker close as he remembers the red coronation - Kamui telling him that everything would be okay if he waited; Hinoka forcing him to choose sides; Ryoma killing Mother so that he can become the King; and Sakura dying because he left her alone. The painful memories he refuses to remember; The underlying truth that the world does not know. When his eyes flicker open again, he returns Ryoma with a sad gaze - What matters even if that is the truth? What matters even if he has been innocent all along?

The King could only return an ‘I am sorry’ gaze before lowering his head. While untying his knot, he sees the purplish spots all over his hand. Swollen places are beaten again and again. Bruises all over his wrist and his palms, and a bandage covering his entire lower arm. He pauses, as his eyes narrow. As his heart keeps on whispering ‘I’m sorry’ more times than he can remember, all he can do is just untying the knot he put on his younger brother. All the suffrage he has put on him, all the wounds he had put on him - He thought he had overcome those when he decided to give up Takumi long ago. Long ago when he was captured, Queen Mikoto refused to exchange him for those ten villages. In the end, aren’t they still haunting him like his nightmares? Isn't he still feeling guilty for all the tragedy that has happened?

If only he had the courage to step up and swing his sword. If only he had the courage to chase over those who captured Takumi, then none of this would have happened.

With the last pull of the rope, the knot falls apart. “It’s undone.” Ryoma shifts himself to the front side of Takumi and sits down in seiza. With a soft gaze at his younger brother, he mumbles. “It’s okay, Takumi. You don’t deserve to be tied. We all know that you are innocent all along.”

The younger Hoshidan glances upwards. Shifting his legs, he sits in a seiza posture. His eyes gaze away from the King as he quietly mumbles. “Is this why you saved me?” He clenches his fist and glances at Ryoma’s hazel eyes. “Is this why you let me go, even though the crowd is screaming ‘kill him, kill him’?”

Catching a glimpse at Takumi’s wound, those hazel eyes soften. They narrow, before the King forces a smile. “I suppose I shall answer your question before you answer mines.” Ryoma sighs and pauses, waiting for his brother to turn back before continuing his sentence. Why did he save Takumi and leave the curse untreated? It is such an obvious answer, yet an answer he cannot speak out. With his eyes now controlled by the Nohrians, with every one of his speech recorded by the Nohrians, all he could do is to hide his weakness. All he could do is to put on that King’s mask on every single second. No matter how much he wants to take it off and cry.

With Takumi’s hazel eyes gazing at him, his lips part. “I am the one who killed Mother. The one who started this burning castle” He whispers, expecting a shocked and anger face from his younger brother. Instead, Takumi is calm, as if he has already known that long time ago. Did Sakura tell him? Afterall, there is no truth that her eyes cannot see. No unspoken fact that she does not know. With a slight nod from Takumi, he continues. “And why I did that? Cause I was so naive to thought that one sacrifice would bring peace back to Hoshido. Little do I know what is lying ahead of me.”

The younger brother lower his head as his eyes narrow. A short silence between those two, before Ryoma once again break it. “And Sakura…” The mentioning of his sister’s name grabs Takumi’s attention. Raising his head, he stares at the King’s sad hazel eyes. “And regarding Sakura…” He chokes out and blinks. Turning his head away from his younger brother, he whispers. “... I have failed to save her.”

It was first anger rushing up Takumi’s chest, but vanishes when he remembers he was the one who let go of her. If he didn’t leave her in the snow, then it wouldn’t be up to Ryoma to save her. If he didn’t tried escaping the castle, then Sakura would not have sacrificed herself. It is all him to blame, like how every other Hoshidan is saying. If he didn’t exist at all, then none of this tragedy would have happened. 

Or at least, most of it wouldn’t have happened.

A long silence between those two. They both lower their heads, refused to look at each other. Takumi rubs his hands against each other - Should he tried opening up to Ryoma and tell him that he is sorry for what he has done? But then he is an exiled Prince, a Prince abandoned by his country after all. Even if Ryoma refuses to kill him, it doesn’t mean his people doesn’t. Even if Ryoma has confessed that he is innocent, it doesn’t mean that he has forgiven him. He is, afterall, the Prince who had betrayed his own country. The Prince who has flee away while chaos is happening.

“So where have you been, Takumi?” The King’s whisper break the long lasting silence. The metal armour cling as he stands up. Looking down on the exiled Prince, he continues. “Why did you come back to Hoshido, even though you has been exiled?”

A twitch on Takumi’s face, followed by him covering his eyes with his bangs. “With Leo.” It was so soft that he doubt if he has ever spoken out. Digging his nails into his skin, he chokes out. “In Nohr.” He could feel the anger radiating from his brother - He is truly a traitor. An terrible Prince betraying his own country. There is nothing he could say to defend that, even if he might be innocent in this whole mess. Even if he was just a sacrificial lamb in this political show, this does not change the fact that he has ran away to the opponent country. Just to keep himself alive. 

“I see.” Takumi could see a face of redemption for a split second, but is quickly wiped off when his eyes blink. “So why did you return, even if you have escaped to the enemy’s territory?” The King’s hazel eyes narrow and stare at the exiled Prince below. His hand clenches, as the gauntlet twitches. His legs straighten, as the knee pieces hit against each other.

“Tell me, Takumi, why did you return, even if you have decided to let go of your Prince status?”

The younger Hoshidan boy could only lower his head. With bangs covering his eyes, he hides his sad dopey eyes behind the silvery hair. His lips shiver, as his fingers rub against each other. His muscles tremble, as sweats drip off his skin. Because he wants to fulfil that promise with Sakura, this repeats in his head over and over. To hope for redemption and let this requiem end, he squeezes his eyes tight. Yet, no matter how many times he cries in his head, those words never leave his lips.

Ryoma let out a sign as his eyes soften. His shoulder relaxes and takes a step back. “Guilty for what happened to Sakura?” His muffles in his lowest voice. “Cause you want to tell Sakura that you are sorry?”

Did Ryoma actually look through him, or his intention too obvious? He wants to look surprise, but all he could feel is sadness. Sadness that feels like a stone in his chest. Sadness that keep on pulling him down till the bottom of the hole. He tried taking a deep breath, but all it does is pricking tears out of his eyes. He tried shaking his head, but all it does is feeling even heavier in his heart. The sadness and guilt he tried hiding started rushing into his chest, filling his heart with nothing but negativity. Nothing but the force that pulls his down, yet again.

“I will take this silence as a ‘Yes’.” The King chokes, as he glances at the boy once more. Eyes with regret and a bit of anger mixed in it, Takumi could feel. Ryoma clenches his hand, as those armour plates cling against each other. His nails dig into his skin, as he raises his head and gazes at the younger exiled Prince. “Why did you leave her then?” He muffled out in the tiniest voice possible. Gulping down, he continues. “Why did you leave her, even if you know death is what awaits her?”

All Takumi gives is a twisted face - Why did he release her hand? Why did he follow Sakura’s words, even though what awaits her is her sacrifice? He knows better than everyone else that Sakura couldn’t live without him - She had suffered enough when he was first captured. She even had nightmares of him executed every night, but he still decided to leave her. To go back to the dark and seek for the only light. To run away from the burning castle, yet leaving his dearest little sister behind. He could have brought Sakura with him all along; He could have take her hand and protect her from the cold. These could all happen, and they could both survive, if only he didn’t let her go.

If only he didn’t let her vanish into the darkness.

He wanted to clench his fist. He wanted to punch himself so hard that he would not wake up again. Yet, all he could do was sigh. No magic has resurrected Sakura, no spell can change the fact that he had pushed his dear sister to death. The people have said that; The world has told him that. That this whole tragedy is his fault, that his suffrage is just to repay the casualties he had created. There is just nothing he can do now, nothing he can seek for and look forward to, other than fulfilling Sakura’s last promise.

“Please let me see Sakura once more.” The younger Hoshidan whispers. With his eyes flickering, he holds the bandaged hand and repeats. “Please let me see Sakura one last time, Ryoma.”

“What do you mean by that?” The King is slightly shocked, but his eyes narrow as regret starts flowing out from them. “Is that why you rushed to her coffin and cried in the plaza?” Observing the slight nod on his brother’s face, he pauses. Is this irritation or annoyance? All Takumi sees is an unsatisfied twitch on his face, followed by lowering his head. Another cling on his armour, as his body straightens. His index finger presses against his thumb, as his lips parts. “Are you kidding me?” The muffle is barely audible by the younger Hoshidan. His lips curl down, as he stares at Takumi’s amber eyes. Firm and regretful, he sees. Faithful and sincere, it shines. Even then, what cannot be done cannot be done. What is chosen is already chosen. If he has taken the path of the ‘traitor’, then that means he should long had farewell with his siblings.

“No.” It is a firm, short pronunciation. “No.” He repeats, as his hazel eyes glare down at the poor boy.

The answer shouldn't surprise Takumi - He should have expected that even he was pressed against the plaza ground. He lets out a sigh, hoping that he could convince himself to give up. Yet all he feels is another layer of darkness, another wave of guilt washing into his heart. It is as if the only exit in this labyrinth is blocked by the falling stones; As if the flames has burned through the only existing path. “Please...!” He bows down with watery eyes on his face. He squeezes his eyes tight, as the tears roll off his cheek. “I know you hate me, I know I am the curse who caused all the troubles. I know I am a terrible being - A failed brother who left his sister in the cold. But even then… Even then, please just let me see Sakura once more! Please let me fulfil the last promise between us two!”

“No.”

“I beg you Ryoma! I beg you, please let me see Sakura!” Takumi shouts. Slowly pushing himself upwards, he squeezes his forearm - The forearm where he crafted himself. With a grabbing force on the bandage, it is slowly painted in red. His face twitched, but that doesn’t stop him from grabbing the edge of it. “Please, Ryoma.” His eyebrow lowers as his watery eyes beg. “Please, King Ryoma of Hoshido.” He voice raises, as his amber eyes gazes at the King’s hazel ones. “I know an exiled Prince can say nothing against a King’s decision; I know my words won’t change anything - How horrible this tragedy has become; How much my presence has caused you troubles - Those are not things that can be described in words. I know you hate me, that’s why you could scold me all you want. You could blame at me for the whole eternity, or even torture me in front of everyone else. But then, even then, please let me see Sakura, even if I am not in a decent form. Let me at least meet her once, even if that means I need to hide my name and identity. Let me fulfil her last promise, even if that means wiping and burning me to death. Even if that means my corpse who will be meeting her, even if those are just the burned remains… Please just let me see her, once!”

With his finger holding the tip of the bandage, he pulls and rips it off. Showing the crafted wounds to the Hoshidan King, his eyes narrow. “Please, Ryoma.” His voice softens after screaming right at the King. “Even if you want me to vanish that badly; Even if you want me to leave Hoshido as soon as possible, at least let Sakura know this… Know that I have fulfilled her last promise.”

“ごめ サクラ” (Sorry, Sakura), it writes. Even if the blood has covered some parts of it, Ryoma could see it clearly. A burnt mark created by none other than Takumi himself, Ryoma knows it better than anyone else. How many times did he try ending himself? How many times had he felt so despair that he just wanted to draw a fullstop in these sequence of events? Ryoma doesn’t want to imagine. It should be a number much larger than one he can count, one that much bigger than he will ever expect an eight year old boy to have. After all, who can he blame for what happened to his dear little brother? Who can he even seek for even there are unspoken words in his heart?

“Afterall, this is just a tale. My death doesn’t matter anyways.”

He wants to feel guilty for all the things that have happened to his brother. He wants to lend him a hand and help him fulfil his dream. But then, being an exiled Prince is a path Takumi has chosen; Being a King is a path he has chosen to walk in. Even if their paths have crossed, they could never be the brother they once were - They are no longer a family. What should be done needs to be done; What is decided can never be changed.

There is no turning back. From the moment when he bowed down to the Nohrian King and handed in his Raijinto.

With a stern stare at the exiled Prince, the King raises his hand and slaps on his face. “To sacrifice yourself just to fulfil Sakura’s last wish? To kill yourself just to see her once last time? Do you even know what Sakura wish for?” His eyes narrow and his eyebrows lower. “She sacrificed herself because she wants you to live on! Because she thinks you are the only one who can get over the strands of destiny! That’s why she prayed for your safety even until the last second, even when her life has burned till the very last ashe.” He chokes, but that doesn’t stop the anger. “All the things she had made, all the things she had done - They are all just for you to survive. Not only her, but Queen Mikoto, and all the soldiers who tried to save you as well - They all want you to survive! And now that you are saying that you would repay them with death - Do you even know what you are talking about?”

Takumi flinches back. With a hand covering the slapped part, he lowers his head. “Look at me, Takumi!” The King commands. “Look at me!” The younger Hoshidan could only barely look up with watery eyes. “Tell me, Takumi, what do you think when you try to destroy their wishes? What do you feel like when you were about to make their sacrifices in vain?” 

The younger boy could only blink against the command. Blinks and allows the tears to fall down. Blinks and tried escaping back to the tale. Yet he can’t - Everything Ryoma said is the rock hard truth. The truth that he had tried to escape from. Saving and loving himself so that he could fulfil Sakura’s wish? Living in this horrible world fruitfully so that he can repay her death? Those are the things he refused to hear, refused to see when he was the one who caused the tragedy. Refused to notice when everyone is telling him that he is the one to blame for her sister’s death.

“Ryoma… I…”

“Your words are tainting Sakura’s death.” The King turns back, as his metal armour clings. “Your actions are a shame to her sacrifice.” He clenches and glares back. “If you really want to redeem yourself that badly, then do what is the best for the people who had faith in you.”

Heavy footsteps going around him, as the King slowly steps away from the exiled Prince. The clinging sound echoes the room, with a weak weeping noise in the background. Blood are falling off from his wounds, as the tatami are slowly tainted in red. Sliding the shoji open, the King gives his long lost brother one depressed look. A depressed look on how his brother has become, on how their relationship has developed.

With a final glare at his younger brother, he slides the shoji door close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if that is just me, but I feel like this is one of the weaker Ryoma chapters. 
> 
> Or maybe it is just me. I still like 'Beyond the White Light' the most (Part 1)


	13. Promotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shameless promotion of my Part 1 Underlying fan book

Hi guys!

After 2 months of hard work, I have finally finished the Underlying fan book! It will consist of all the chapters here, one special chapters and and seven coloured pages! A few details to include:

  * I have changed every single chapter to update to the current settings. The new versions are already updated here (in Ao3)
  * Digital version includes all pdf, epub (for e-book), and mobi (for kindle)
  * **Warning: Child slavery and child abuse, minor character death, extreme Hoshido/Nohr racism, graphical description of violence, blood, angst and very dark**
  * Teens and above (Age 13+) are highly recommended
  * **Please email me (luluiceifer@gmail.com) if you are interested in a copy of the physical fan book.**
  * The extra chapter will be uploaded (on Ao3) by the time I finish Part 3, Altale. Probably 6 – 9 months later.



The digital version can be purchased here: <https://luluicey.booth.pm/items/2362028>

Once again, thank you for your support. I've also updated the new Requiem chapter, "満天".

-LuLuIcey

Ps. For those lazy ones who just want to look at the changed settings, I have changed Prologue, Chapter 3 Tea, Chapter 6 Xander, and Chapter 13 The End of this Road the most.

Ps2. Chapter 6 Xander is the one with the most changes, if you are super lazy and only have time for a chapter.


	14. Thorn in You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for being super late. Workload has been getting the heck out of me recently.

Ever since Leo left the room, he had been showered with despising stares. ‘How dare he lay a finger on our Princess’, the soldier whispered. ‘What arrogance does the child have to insult our Royal?’, they muffled. But when the dark Prince glances at the chatting soldiers, their faces tense. Gripping their weapons tight, their eyes fix on the dark Prince. Angered yet annoyed. Mad yet powerless. One tried ranting at him, but his coordinator pulled him back before his lips parted. Looking at the dark Prince go, they could only loosen their fingers. Relax the muscles and let the weapon slip down. Hide the anger and let the fear overcome vengeance. Let the powerless tears roll off as the cold breath of death whispers. 

Cowards. At least that is how Leo calls them.

But does he even have the right to call others this? He narrows his eyes. Naively creating a war just to save his only loved one; innocently burning the castle just to protect one - The Hoshidan Princess has exposed his deepest sins. Why didn’t he tell Takumi that he has been using him? Why didn’t he tell him that he has been the one pulling the strings? To protect his fragile heart, that was the official answer he forced himself to believe. A fabricated lie he tried brainwashing himself so many times that it became the truth. He will be the hero saving his friend from the burning castle, even if he was the one setting the fire. He will be the only one taking care of the lonely child, even if he was the one killing all the people he loved. Only then, Takumi will lean on his shoulders; only then Takumi will stay with him and be his support; then Takumi will remain at his side, forever.

Isn’t such patheticness enough to call him a coward?

Blood trails on the wooden tiles, with crimson footprints stamping on the floor. Heavy steps along with the metal clinking sound, as he and the outlaw wander around the castle. Where will Takumi be? The Hoshidan siblings have told him that he is with the King, but he sees no one in the throne room. Probably in the King’s room, he thought, but neither could he find the lost child. Are they even speaking the truth? Is Takumi even still alive? As much as he hopes for that, he can do nothing against it - The treaty only says Hoshidans should follow Nohrian’s words. But for an exiled Prince like Takumi, he has no control of his fate.

Even if he had slaughtered everyone for that child, he is still destined to die. How powerless.

Another step, and another slide on those rice paper doors. Blood streaks, alongside with heavy pants. Hopeless crimson eyes move his sight up from the ground, ready for yet another disappointment. But as they slowly trace up, they meet a shadow. A shadow of a young child, staring emptily at the ceiling. Weeping quietly, with all the bandages scattered around the room. The cutting wound on his left hand was exposed, but the crafted words are smudged with blood and flesh. Smudged and mixed together, as if the owner has squeezed them tight.

“Tell me: Am I a taint to Sakura’s sacrifice?”

He whispers as quietly as a mouse. Tears roll off his cheeks, as the droplets reflect the dusk sunlight. Orange, mixed with a line of crimson red; Sadness, flooded with endless despair. When the child turns back, his eyes are hollow. Empty, as if all the things he wished for are forcefully dragged out of him. Nothingness, as if all the things he believed have slammed back on his face. 

“Takumi.”

The Nohrian Prince could only take a step forward. Silent stares, as the two exchange their gaze - Too afraid to get closer; too afraid to know the truth behind. Odd silence, until the Hoshidan kid decided on repeating his question.

“Tell me, Leo.” He mumbles with a hand grabbing on his crafted wounds. “Is a deathwish a taint for those who sacrificed for me?” 

The Nohrian Prince could only narrow his eyes. A world that is worse than death, or a death that ends all the suffrage - The answer is obvious. There is no meaning of Takumi staying in this nightmare; no need for him to continue walking in this path of thorns. A stab on the heart and all the pain will come to an end - He knows, but he refuses to do it for his friend. A swipe of his hand and the magic can bring him out - He knows it better than anyone else, but he is too much of a coward.

Maybe that’s why he wasn’t able to rebut the Hoshidan Princess.

“No answer, isn’t it?” The Hoshidan child turns away, yet again. Lifeless voice, as if they are interrogating his actions. “Just like every time - You’re going to be silent about this, Leo?”

Is that a sad smile, or is that a depressed sigh? He can’t see through the emotions these hollow eyes are leaking. Amber eyes that have given up on the light; a yellow orb that has forgotten how to shine - The only hope he had, shattered. The only goal he admired had been taunted by others. And when there is nothing he could follow for, all it leaves is an empty capsule.

If only he had never been involved in this interwinning destinies. 

“You know how much the people have been telling me to die. How much they have been cursing him and calling me that I am worse than a demon.” A flat voice. A clam narration. There is nothing in it - No beg, no envy, just a dead tune out of those pale lips. “You know better than everyone how much everyone wants me to be dead. You know how everything turns against me, even if all they did was destroy the things I love.”

A slight anger, finally, but is it anger to start with? All the Hoshidan child wanted was just a heart-warming family. A time where everyone could sit together and smile without worry being backstabbed the next second. If it wasn’t the helplessness and hopelessness he had given him, he won’t even know madness to start with. If it wasn’t the castle burning right in front of his eyes, the pure amber eyes won’t have even lost light. And what makes him fall into this misery?

“I know. Takumi. That’s why… That’s why…”

The silver-haired child nods, his hand slightly shaking before gripping his forearm. Tracing the crafted words, the eyebrows straighten. A bite on his lips, he could hear it, followed by a sigh. An angered sigh, a guilty sigh, and slowly he whispers. 

“I was just doing what they said - If I was never borned to this world, if my existence was erased completely, how nice this world would have been? How much trouble would have been avoided if I was never here?” 

The torn bandage is painted with crimson, as blood soaks into the bamboo flooring. The redcoats at the edge, but another grip shatters them all. Emptily, the child screams at the open air. Sorrowly, the once Royal Prince leaks his tears. “I really thought that would be the case - Fulfil Sakura’s last promise and there is nothing more for me. Stab myself in the heart in front of the one who deserves the most compensation. And when my last breath is dragged out of my body, I will finally be able to repay my sins… Really thought that would end all fire.”

“I really believed that. Really.”

The broken pale lips twist before the child pulls his wound hand up. Shifting his legs, he turns away from the Nohrian Prince. His eyes flicker, as they fix on the ground. A bite as the depressed face twisted. The emptiness in the amber ones is mixed with confusion, perplexity before he tilts his lips down. Shivering lips and a trembling body, as silent words are forced out in between. 

“But Ryoma said all Sakura wants is for me to  _ live on _ \-  _ Live  _ upon her and bring miracle to this chaos.  _ Continue _ walking forward in this nightmare until I reach the unpredictable end. Break the chains destiny and walk out from this tragedy.” A sob, and the child’s eyes gaze into his ruby counterpart. Another choke, as fear swallows the endless despair. “And if I were to be seeking death - Seeking for death just to repay for my sins…” He punctuates, scratching his arms, smudging the blood altogether. Guilty tears prick from the edge of his eyes as his lips part and close. The next few words come out as a mumble - Repeating for a few times before he has the courage to speak them up.

“...Then it would be a taint of what Sakura has sacrificed.”

Was that an empty cry, or a senseless moan? Was that a hollow realisation that the Gods have given him no happy ending? He really hoped it was. Instead, it was silence - Dead air filled with fear and regret. Cold breaths that have lost its meaning at inhaling in. He could see the bandage dipping red, the self crafted words turning distinct. But when he tried to hurt himself deeper, the grab stopped. This would taint his sister’s sacrifice - This is the sentence that stops him from ending himself. The curse that forces him to stay in this eternal hell.

To live a life worse than death - Is this the answer the Gods have given him? 

The boy’s hand fell from his chest, as his limbs lifelessly scattered over the floor. Powerlessly, he let go of the things he had held sincerely. Aimlessly, he gazes at the Nohrian child - The boy he thought to be his only hope. The one he thought would pull him out from darkness. But when the North wind blew, all he gave was a guilty face. An empty resolution - A hollow lie. 

“So what should I do?” A shattered beg cracks out. “So what should I do, Leo? What can I do when both seeking for life and death is a taint to this world?”

Eyes widen, all he could do is look away from the young boy. The young boy he yearned to protect; the young boy he swore to accompany with. The young boy whose destiny was destroyed by him, whose life could have been changed by his actions. To be asked such a question, isn’t that irony itself? The person who manipulated his destiny doesn't know what the next step is - The horrible villain doesn't know what to do with the hero after destroying his country. In the end, there is no resolution, no happy ending. No hope, no miracle. 

“Tell me, Leo. Speak for once, Nohrian Prince - What should I do when both living and dying are not an option?”

It was because of him that everything has been destroyed - Because of him that he doesn't have a happy family. It was because of him that he’s stuck in this place, because of him that all you could do is moan to the sky. Now, the burning flames have devoured everything around the boy. Now, he could finally become the only pillar in the child’s broken world. The only peace in this unending chaos. Isn’t that what he wants? So why can’t he give an answer? Isn’t all he sought for was trying to get Takumi to rely on him, so why can’t he reply when he was asked now?

It is. It was.

The world where his loved one cannot leave his side, the world where he will never be alone - He could as if seeing the end of his loneliness. A fake smile and an empty lie. False kind words and a scheming smoothe in the back - This was the world he had always wanted.

Should he hide the truth once more, or let go of his naive dreams? Put up yet another show, or should he start embracing the darkness? To continue lowering his head and apologising, or to look up and reach out to a new path? 

“Should I just shut myself up so no one will ever see me again? Or should I be thrown to the never-ending snow and keep myself in a state that I am barely alive?”

He takes a step forward.   
  


“Or should I sell myself to Nohr and act as its slave? Let them torture me so that my people will be satisfied at such ending. To burn myself out to build a better world, isn’t that what Sakura has wished to see with my meaningless life?”

The bamboo floor squeaks as weight is put upon.

“Then I could go on satisfying both needs - Go on and let these flames burn on me. Go on and let the blood betray me. Go on and…”

Rushed steps, as the Nohrian Prince embraces the child. Hugging him tight and caressing his hair. Wrapping the hands around his shoulders and protecting him from all the danger. Stepping forward and accepting the cruel reality they are living in. “I will pave you the third path” He mumbles, dragging the boy closer. “I will open you the third path - A path where life nor death is the answer. I will bring meaning to your life - So much that you will never get bored of living in this world. I will break all the vines blocking your road, and guide you to a merciful death.”

There is no more turning back. No more hiding from the truth.

“Why do you need to forgive me? Why do you need to protect me once again, Leo? Why…?”

He could feel the aching pain on his back, feet kicking off from his hug. There are fearful trembles, dread moans, as if being saved is the worst thing that could ever happen. ‘Let me go, let me go.’ The child muffles out with his broken voice. ‘Let me go so I can pay for my sins. Let me go so I can be the one everyone wants me to be!’

And even if the whole world is turning against him. 

“We will live for each other’s sake - Isn’t this the promise we had made?”

The amber eyes flicker as the child sobs. The grab loosen as blood-tainted hands slide off his shoulder. The kicking stops, as the child sinks into the warmth around him. Sniffs - Leo hears the soft sobs between his chest. The clothes are dripping wet, with a weight pushing onto him. Light shines on his chest, he sees, as the child moans out. As he put his guilty tears all over the bamboo floor. 

A soft smile followed by a caress on the silvery hair. A smoothe on his back and a pat on his shoulder - But these are no longer for him, only. This boy is no longer chained by the destinies he forced him to be. 

When the truth uncovers, then the boy will leave him, once again.

“Let’s pave the third path together.” He whispers. “Let’s walk through the road of thrones, together.”

_ And when you are strong enough to stand with your legs, it will be the time to wander off back to your destiny. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looking back my boys have grown a lot QAQ

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter: Siblings (Hopefully before 2020 ends)
> 
> (Year 2 is much much harsher than I thought, so apologies for the super late update. Hope that everything will be getting better once I finish the last 2 coursework of the semester.)
> 
> Feel free to follow my twitter ([@luluicey](https://twitter.com/LuLuIcey)) for the latest information!
> 
> Ps. I have made an Underlying fanbook on Part 1, details on the promotion chapter


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